


All the Things I Didn't Say

by deancastrash



Category: Glee
Genre: Klaine, Klaine Break-Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-07-29 01:40:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7665358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deancastrash/pseuds/deancastrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 years after Kurt and Blaine called off their engagement, Kurt can't help but still get a little upset about the whole situation. The love of his life hadn't spoken to him in three years and yet he couldn't find it in him to move on. Though, from the looks of it, Blaine surely had. But when something tragic happens, how will everyone react? How will Kurt react when this incident forces them to be in the same room again? How will Blaine handle everything that's happened?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so i just finished watching glee for the first time & ik im late but im obsessed with klaine and i needed to write about them. dont get me wrong im super happy that they got back together in the show but i feel like there was a lot of things left unsaid in the show that i feel like should have gotten addressed and this is my way of fixing that.

Kurt inhaled as the familiar scent of the New York air forced his body to wake up, even if his eyes didn’t exactly want to open yet. He knew what day it was. He dreads this day every year because all the emotions and memories flood back to him like he was just hit with a ton of bricks. He sighed and willed himself to get out of bed, not wanting to face the day. When he walked out of his bedroom, the smell of pancakes worked its way into his nose and made his stomach grumble. He saw Rachel flipping pancakes at the stove they shared and noticed that there was already a plate set out for him.

“I made you breakfast!” Rachel perked up at the sight of Kurt. Rachel was the definition of a morning person, always ready to start the day even if the day was going to be absolutely terrible.

“Thanks,” he grumbled. He sat down at the table and started picking at the pancakes that Rachel had made for him. Rachel wasn’t the best cook, but pancakes were definitely her specialty. She was always in charge of breakfast and Kurt was...well, in charge of everything else. Rachel Berry had too busy of a life to keep up with cooking anything else but breakfast. He didn’t have much of an appetite and paid more attention to his orange juice than his food.

“What?” Rachel asked, noticing Kurt’s glum expression. “What did I do wrong? You always love my pancakes! Did I not use enough flour? Do you want me to get you more syrup?”

“Oh my god, Rachel,” Kurt sighed and put his face in his hands. “Do you know what day it is?” He lifted his head out of his hands and nodded towards the calendar.

Rachel looked towards it and her expression fell, immediately giving him that pitying look she gave him every year on this day. “Oh, Kurt…” she said softly. She turned the stove off and took her plate of food and sat next to him. She put a hand on his shoulder in attempt at comforting him. “You know I love you and support you but you really need to get over it. It’s been 5 years. You’re 26 years old. Your fashion business is booming and you just got a callback for _Finding Neverland_. You can’t mope on this day for the rest of your life because that would just be a sad life and you are the farthest thing from a sad person.”

Kurt sighed and looked at his best friend. She tells him he needs to get over it every single year but there’s just something about this day that he doesn’t think he will ever be capable of getting over. “I love you, too,” he told her honestly. “But you know how much…” he trailed off because he didn’t need to explain it to her. She knew. She was there for him through his whole mess the same way he was always there for her. She truly was his best friend, no matter how much of a pain in the ass she was. It saddened him that she was going to be moving out soon and he was going to be on his own.

She had just gotten engaged to Jesse St. James. It was a little comical to Kurt how in love they were because Kurt could still remember how much Jesse used her in order for Vocal Adrenaline to win Nationals. Kurt was unsure of Jesse when they started dating again but he really got to know him and Jesse had changed a lot since high school. He was truly a good guy and really did love Rachel. Next week, Rachel was moving into Jesse’s house. Then, the week after was Rachel’s opening night for _Jane Austen Sings_ that Jesse was directing. Kurt was really proud of her. “I know,” Rachel assured him. “I just wish this day didn’t make you so sad. I hate seeing my favorite person so sad.”

“I thought Jesse was your favorite person,” he smiled at her, feeling a little better with Rachel’s reassurance.

“He’s my second favorite person. No one beats the person I lived with for the past 7 years,” she patted his shoulder one more time before eating her own meal. Talking with Rachel was enough for him to gain his appetite back and he quickly finished his meal before letting Rachel know he was going to get dressed.

He went through his closet, and picked a simple pair of jeans and a red button up. He changed into them and slipped a pair of boots on. He was going to make it through the day. Rachel was right. It’s been 5 years. Time to get over it.

He went back out and saw Rachel slip her coat on. “I have rehearsals all day,” she told him. “I wish I could stay here with you all day. I’m sorry. Ice cream and movie date tonight?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he told her. “I’ll go food shopping since I’m off. Want Ben & Jerry’s?”

“Yes, please,” she nodded eagerly. She was a sucker for Ben & Jerry’s, but who wasn’t? “Can you get me Cherry Garcia? I have to stick to my diet.”

“You know, just because it has a fruit in the title doesn’t mean it’s healthy for you,” he informed her sarcastically.

“Nobody needs to know that,” she grinned at him before kissing him on the cheek and walking out the door.

An hour after Rachel left, Kurt put on his own coat and slipped out the door. He walked the few blocks to the grocery store and picked up a few things they were missing and then walked over to the ice cream aisle. Specifically, to the huge section of Ben & Jerry’s. He got Rachel’s pint of Cherry Garcia and honestly, everything looked so good he couldn’t help himself and had to get three pints of different flavors. He got his favorite, Milk & Cookies, he also got Cinnamon Buns and Chocolate Therapy. It was going to be a long day.

The first mistake Kurt made when he got home was sitting in front of his laptop with his pint of Chocolate Therapy. He thought the title of the ice cream was very misleading because it didn’t do anything to therapize how he was feeling. He thought he should probably sue. He started stalking Blaine’s Facebook. He knew it was childish and stupid and would only make him feel worse. Blaine was the reason this day was so hard to bear.

He couldn’t blame Blaine. Blaine didn’t break up with him. Kurt broke up with Blaine. This was the 5th anniversary of when Kurt broke it off with him and he’s regretted it ever since. The first year was really hard. He even ran back to Blaine and begged him to get back together with him but Blaine already had a boyfriend. He rebuilt his life. He rebuilt it without Kurt.

It was so weird for Kurt to see that because their lives revolved so much around each other when they were together. But now that Kurt looks back on it, that wasn’t at all true. Blaine’s life had revolved around Kurt and that’s the true reason it had been so weird to see Blaine living a functioning, normal life without his best friend. It had been so unhealthy when they were together. Blaine had constantly been up his ass and constantly wanted to spend time with him and Kurt was just constantly annoyed he never realized it was because Kurt never made an effort. He never made an effort to spend time with his boyfriend, his _fiance_ and Blaine just wanted, so badly, to spend time with Kurt.

He should have seen it. He was so selfish and hurt Blaine so much. They should have been more open with each other. They should have talked and compromised on things. Kurt just didn’t want to compromise on anything because he was so focused on his own life and his own goals and didn’t stop to think about what Blaine wanted. That was all his own fault and after a year of wallowing in self pity and Rachel being highly annoyed at him, he decided he was only going to allow himself one day. One day every year to feel bad about himself and miss Blaine. Obviously he slips up sometimes, he’ll stumble on a photo of him and Blaine together and all the heartbreak will come rushing back.

He can’t even see him. He hasn’t spoken to or seen Blaine in person in three years. They have each other on social media but they don’t interact with each other. Kurt didn’t know how they avoided each other all these years since Blaine is friends with all of Kurt’s friends but somehow they have managed to avoid seeing each other. Even Rachel still talked to Blaine but she respected Kurt enough not to bring him up. The last time she mentioned him was two years ago.

_Rachel knocked on his bedroom door and Kurt told her to come in so she did. “Hey,” she said softly and sat on his bed. “I don’t know if it matters to you or not but I thought you should know. Blaine and Karofsky broke up.”_

_It didn’t matter, Kurt had realized. It didn’t matter because Blaine’s relationships and Blaine’s life was none of Kurt’s business. It still felt good nonetheless even though Kurt shouldn’t have felt anything. He should have felt indifferent. Kurt reached over and squeezed Rachel’s hand, knowing she meant well. “Thank you for telling me,” he replied. She gave him a sad smile and got up and left his room._

Kurt tortured himself with Blaine’s Facebook, scrolling all the way down to when they were still together. Blaine had documented so much, them holding hands, them ice skating together. There was a picture of their coffees from when they went on a date at the Lima Bean. He stumbled on the post that said Engaged to Kurt Hummel, barely a year before they called it off. He looked through the comments, everyone was so happy for them. He looked at one comment, specifically. Brittany’s comment. It said “OMG!!!! MY FAV POWER COUPLE! Ily guys <3.” He remembered how upset Brittany was when they broke up. Right before her and Santana’s wedding, (which was painfully awkward because Blaine had brought Dave and they tried to talk to Kurt and it was just too weird for all three of them) Brittany came to Kurt and started crying.

When he asked her what was going on, she told him that the only reason the wedding was possible was because of him and Blaine. She told him how she had looked up to them as a couple and how important they were to her. She said she was devastated when they broke up because she felt like she lost her inspirations. Kurt didn’t know how to react. He just kind of snapped and told her that he was sorry she felt that way but him and Blaine were over and weren’t ever getting back together. He told her that what she and Santana had was special and they were always meant to get married no matter what. He thought that about him and Blaine too, but at that point he wasn’t so sure.

Now he definitely knew that him and Blaine just weren’t meant to be together, no matter how much it still hurt to think about. No matter how much he knew in his heart that he would always love Blaine, he knew that what they had was over years ago. Blaine had moved on and Kurt...well, he moved on in his own way. He let himself have this day. That was his way of moving on. He’s barely dated anyone since even though Rachel has tried to set him up so many times, there was just no one he clicked with. No one who would understand him.

Kurt considered scrolling up through Blaine’s Facebook until he was passed their relationship, he looked at the relationship status post that Blaine posted about Karofsky but quickly decided to skim past it until he was all the way up to the past couple of months. Blaine had been working at an open mic restaurant as a waiter after he graduated college 2 years ago, he had little video clips of him performing that his friends shared on his page. Kurt didn’t watch them. If he listened to Blaine’s voice he knew he would fall apart. Blaine seemed happy, it looked like he was also working in a local theatre and performing in musicals, typically geared towards younger kids. Kurt was happy Blaine was doing what he loved, even if he wasn’t aiming as high as broadway, Blaine was still happy. That was important to Kurt.

Kurt sighed and decided to close his laptop, his Chocolate Therapy was all gone and he threw it in his trashcan next to his bed. His next mistake was going through his drawer of old high school memories because Blaine was written all over it. His prom pictures with Blaine, the Christmas promise ring Blaine gave him...then, in the corner, was his engagement ring. Kurt had forgotten he put it there. He picked it up and slipped it on his finger. It still fit him. That realization made him break down. He hated this. He hated crying over a boy he broke up with so long ago but he couldn’t help it. Blaine was right in his engagement speech. They were meant to spend every lifetime loving each other no matter what, and Kurt had ruined that for them.

Kurt hadn’t even heard Rachel walk in the door before he felt arms wrap around him. “It’s okay, Kurt,” she rubbed his arm soothingly before grabbing his hand and taking the ring off of his finger and tossing it back into the drawer and closing it. “What happened happened. C’mon, let’s go have our ice cream/movie date.”

“Okay,” he agreed and stood up with Rachel. They walked out into the kitchen and grabbed their ice cream out of the freezer, Kurt grabbing his Milk & Cookies and Rachel grabbing her Cherry Garcia before plopping down on the couch in the living room. They decided to rewatch _Rent_ for the hundredth time. Midway through, Rachel’s phone started ringing.

“Who is it?” Kurt asked, trying to glance at Rachel’s iPhone screen. Rachel grabbed the TV remote and paused the movie.

“It’s Sam,” she crinkled her eyes and picked up the phone. “Hey, Sam, what’s up?” She was quiet while waiting for his response. Then, her confused expression turned into a shocked one. “Oh my god, okay...yeah, we’ll be there. Yeah, I’ll tell him. Thank you for letting me know.” She quickly got off the phone and stared at Kurt.

“What’s wrong?” Kurt asked, the look on her face made Kurt thing something was seriously wrong. Did one of their friends get hurt?

“Sam just said…” she shook her head, trying to get her words out. “Blaine got in a car accident. And, well...he keeps asking for you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for the positive feedback! this isnt my usual trope to write in so i really hope you're enjoying everything so far :)

Blaine woke up to a searing white light and faces all around him. He was in pain for some reason and couldn’t seem to move his arms. He grunted and looked at the faces all around him. Sam, Mercedes and Tina were surrounding him as well as doctors and nurses. He squinted at Sam, he looked so different. He literally saw him yesterday, how did he get a haircut and grow facial hair in a day?

“What’s going on?” he mumbled and everyone looked at each other.

“Mr. Anderson,” one of the doctors began, “you were in a severe car accident. You were lucky to not have any spine damage but your head slammed into the steering wheel and your right arm is broken. Do you remember driving today?”

“I…” Blaine had to think for a minute. He couldn’t remember the last thing he did. He thought really hard, but the last thing he remembered was getting off the phone with Kurt. “No.”

The doctor looked worried and his friends glanced nervously at each other before looking back at him. Tina looked like she was on the verge of tears. “Okay, that’s okay,” the doctor nodded. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I was getting off the phone with my boyfriend,” he told him. “I was telling him about my day at school. But I really don’t remember driving.”

“Blaine, you don’t have a boyfriend,” Tina interjected. “And you don’t go to school anymore.”

“Tina, shut up!” Sam hissed at her and Tina put her hands up defensively.

“I...what?” Blaine asked. Everything was so confusing. He felt uncomfortable in his own body and he had no idea what Tina was talking about.

“Mr. Anderson,” the doctor said calmly, “how old are you?”

Blaine gave the doctor a confused look. Shouldn’t he know that? His friends had to have told him. Why did it matter anyway? “I’m 18.”

As soon as he said that, everyone once again exchanged glances but this time they were shocked glances, not nervous glances. Blaine was so confused. “Okay,” the doctor nodded. “And what year is it?”

“2012,” Blaine said confidently. Though, from the looks he got in the room, he knew he got the year wrong. But how? He looked around frantically, “is it not…?”

The doctor sighed and gave Blaine a look of pity. “Look, Mr. Anderson,” he said slowly, “you did a number on your head. I, as a doctor, can’t tell you much because I don’t know your life, I don’t know how you’ll react. That’s why I’m putting my trust in your friends to help with the emotional parts of this treatment because all I can do is help with the physical. You’ll be getting released tomorrow after we check that everything is okay and good to go. I can tell you that it is definitely not 2012 anymore, your friends can fill in the rest.” The doctor patted Blaine on his knee, before giving a sympathetic look to Blaine’s friend and walked out the door. That left Mercedes, Sam, Tina and Blaine alone in the room.

“What does he mean ‘not 2012’ anymore?” Blaine tried to sit up in a panic but it hurt his head too much. “And where’s Kurt? What’s going on, guys? Please.”

“Blaine,” Mercedes began, seemingly the only calm one in the room. Tina was full blown crying at this point and Sam looked like he was in complete shock. “It’s 2019. You’re 25 years old, not 18.”

Blaine let that sink in. This was all so impossible. How did he manage to lose 7 years of his life? How could he forget all of that? Tina said he didn’t have a boyfriend anymore. “Kurt..” he whispered. Then, looked at Mercedes with wide eyes. “Where’s Kurt? I want Kurt.”

Mercedes gave him another pitying look. He hated all the looks of pity. He just wanted to understand what was going on. He also just wanted to see Kurt, no matter if they were together anymore or not. God, what if they haven’t been together for years? What if Kurt didn’t care about him anymore? “Blaine, you and Kurt aren’t…”

“Yeah, I got that from Tina,” he snapped. “But I don’t care. I want to see him. Please call him. Please.”

“I’ll call Rachel,” Sam said, finally getting out of his state of shock. “She should be here too.”

“Thank you, Sam,” Blaine muttered as Sam plucked his phone out of his pocket and walked out of the door to make the phone call. If he was calling Rachel that meant her and Kurt still lived together. “So...2019, huh? Is Rachel a big broadway star? Are you #1 on itunes?”

Mercedes laughed a little at his inquiry. “I’m #5, actually, but close enough I guess. Rachel, well, she’s about to start her next big broadway show next week. It’s called _Jane Austen Sings_ and she got the lead, of course. Sam is teaching New Directions in Ohio.”

“Really?” Blaine asked. Why wasn’t Mr. Schuster teaching them anymore? He was also a little disappointed that Sam had resorted to a teaching job.

“Yeah, McKinley, it’s an arts school now. Shue is the principal,” Mercedes informed him.

“So, he finally beat Sue, huh?”

“In his own way,” Mercedes gave him a soft smile as Sam walked back into the room.

“I just got off the phone with Rachel,” Sam informed them. “Her and Kurt are coming. Hopefully they’ll be here in a half an hour or so.”

“Half an hour?” Blaine said. “Don’t they live in New York?”

“So do you,” Sam told him. “We aren’t in Ohio. We all came up this weekend to hang out. Then you…”

“Then I what?” Blaine asked, there was something everyone was omitting.

“You were just having an off day and well, you kind of left us all in your apartment. A few hours later I got a call and they said you were in an accident and they found _copious_ amounts of alcohol in your system.”

“I drove drunk?” Blaine asked in disbelief. That didn’t sound like him.

“We’re just as surprised as you are. You barely ever even get drunk, let alone drink and drive,” Sam shrugged but Blaine could see how uncomfortable he was with the whole situation.

“That’s...weird,” Blaine couldn’t think of what else to say. Why would he ever drink and drive? How far gone could he have been for that to happen? All he knew was that he wanted to see Kurt. He loved his friends but he trusted Kurt more than anyone in this room. He didn’t care what had happened between them. The only way he knew he could be comforted in this situation was if he had Kurt by his side.

* * *

 

Kurt had been quiet the entire drive to the hospital. Rachel had kept her eyes glued to the road, only occasionally giving Kurt worried glances. Kurt was so nervous. He knew it was selfish of him to be so considering what Blaine had just gone through but he couldn’t help it. He hadn’t seen him in _three_ years and now he has to go in there and pretend like he won’t be bothered by the fact that his ex-love of his life wants to see him right after a near death situation. Rachel told him that Blaine’s having a memory problem. But what did that mean? Blaine could have lost a year of his memory or ten. Sam hadn’t told Rachel all the specifics.

All that Kurt knew was that he was going to have to put on a brave face and just deal with whatever was going to come. He already knew his heart was going to shatter in a billion pieces when he sees Blaine broken on a hospital bed, but just the sight of Blaine is probably going to make it a hundred times worse.

When they arrived at the hospital, Rachel had went to the front desk and asked where Blaine Anderson was roomed and they told her. She grabbed Kurt’s hand on the way to the elevator. “It’s going to be okay, Kurt,” she promised and squeezed his hand. Kurt just nodded in response. Rachel hit the elevator button and waited for it to open. When it did, they brushed past a couple of people to get inside and then Rachel hit the “2” button so they could get to the second floor.

Once they reached the second floor and were out of the elevator, the reality of the situation hit Kurt and he stopped dead in his tracks. “I can’t do it,” Kurt breathed and Rachel stopped to look at him. “I can’t. We have to go back home. I can’t see him. This is so messed up.”

“Kurt, this isn’t about you or what you want,” she tried to say it in the softest voice possible but it didn’t work with what the words actually meant. “Someone you care about, even if you hadn’t spoken to them in three years, is lying in a hospital bed right now after a severe car accident asking for you. This is about what Blaine wants. I know that this hurts you but you have to push past it. You have to go see him, not for you, but for him. Okay?”

Kurt took a deep breath and nodded. “I just don’t know what I’m going to say,” he mumbled as Rachel linked arms with him and walked towards Blaine’s hospital room.

“Just be yourself and I’ll be with you every step of the way,” she assured him. They arrived at the room and Rachel let go of him to knock on the door. Kurt felt like his heart was going to pop out of his chest with how fast it was racing. The knock was answered by Sam who greeted them and gave them both hugs. Then the hugs were followed by Tina and Mercedes. Then everyone shuffled back into the room, Kurt following behind them.

Kurt froze. There Blaine was, lying on the hospital bed with a cast on his right arm and a gauze pad right above his left eye. His hair was half-gelled, curls falling out all over the place. Despite the injuries and the messy hair, he was still as beautiful as ever and he was looking Kurt expectantly. He was waiting for Kurt to do something, say something. But he couldn’t. Kurt hoped someone else would speak up or this would all be very awkward.

“Hey, Kurt,” Blaine smiled softly at him, his eyes full of old love. He looked so vulnerable, Kurt was afraid to even go near him. Blaine’s gaze tore away from Kurt and looked at everyone else. “Could you give us a minute?”

Kurt started panicking but he didn’t let it show. He did not want to be left alone with Blaine. He could barely deal with being in the same room with him even with all these people around him.

“Will you be okay, Kurt?” Rachel asked him as everyone passed and went to the door.

“Yeah,” he lied. He remembered what Rachel told him. This wasn’t about how he felt. This was about Blaine. Rachel nodded and gave him a pat on the shoulder before following everyone else out of the room.

Once everyone was out of the room, Blaine looked back up at Kurt. “Seven years,” he blurted out. Kurt gave him a confused look. “I don’t know if they told you but seven years of my memory is missing. The last thing I remember is getting off the phone with you. I still feel...I mean, I feel like I’m 18 but I’m trapped in this body of a 25 year old. I’m looking at the love of my life yet it seems like he can barely look at me.”

Blaine was right. Kurt had been staring at the chair next to Blaine because it was so hard to look at him. “Blaine,” Kurt managed to croak out and he finally looked at him and decided to take a step closer. “We aren’t…”

“I know,” Blaine interrupted him, his voice cracking. “Tina told me. How long? How long has it been?”

“We broke up officially 5 years ago,” Kurt informed him, Blaine’s eyes widening at the fact. “But I haven’t seen or spoke to you in three years.”

“Three years?” Blaine whistled. “I can’t even...I can’t even imagine not seeing you for three years. Will you tell me what happened?”

“ _Blaine_ ,” Kurt said softly and moved to the edge of the bed. “I think this is too much for you too soon. You deserve to know everything about your life but it needs to be taken slowly.” The truth was that Kurt didn’t really want to relive what happened.

“I agree with you,” Blaine nodded. “But I don’t care about anything else right now. I care about us. I need to know what happened.”

“I...I broke up with you,” Kurt sighed. Blaine seemed to flinch at the comment, like he wasn’t expecting it. Kurt moved closer to Blaine and nodded to the chair. “Is it okay if I sit?”

“Of course.”

“Okay,” Kurt sat down on the chair next to Blaine’s bed. “We were engaged.”

“Really?” Blaine’s eyes lit up a little but dimmed almost immediately after, most likely remembering that the engagement didn’t last. “Who asked who?”

“You did but it doesn’t really matter. What matters was we weren’t ready for that. We jumped into something we both couldn’t handle and I just felt so suffocated after you moved in with me and I couldn’t do it. I just needed space,” Kurt knew that this was a terrible explanation but he didn’t want Blaine to feel bad about what happened. Most of it was Kurt’s fault anyway.

“So let me get this straight,” Blaine tried to sit up a little but failed. “We were engaged and I was living with you and you broke up with me because you needed _space_? We didn’t get back together even after I gave you said space? Clearly I did if we haven’t been together for so long.”

“It wasn’t that simple,” Kurt sighed, frustrated. He really didn’t want to go into the gory details of it all. “I tried to get you back. 6 months after we broke up, you were in Lima and you were coaching the Warblers so I decided to, idiotically, run after you to get you back but you moved on.”

“I highly doubt that,” Blaine snorted, like the idea of him moving on from Kurt was comical.

“You already had a boyfriend,” Kurt said, trying to keep the bitterness out of his tone.

“What?” Blaine raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Who?”

“Dave Karofsky.”

“No,” Blaine shook his head, “I would not do that to you. Not after what Karofsky put you through.”

“It doesn’t _matter_ anymore, Blaine. It happened and now it’s over. That’s all there is to tell.”

“So me and Karofsky broke up?”

“Yup. 2 years ago.”

“I was with Karofsky for _three_ years?” Blaine shook his head in disbelief. “I just can’t imagine…”

“Neither could I,” Kurt replied, remembering how much shock he was in when Karofsky showed up while Kurt confronted Blaine. But nothing beat the pain he felt just seeing Blaine with another person. “But like I said, it doesn’t matter.”

“Why doesn’t it matter?” Blaine asked, catching Kurt off guard. “Does it not matter because you don’t love me anymore?” Blaine’s voice cracked somewhere in the middle of the sentence and when Kurt looked up, Blaine was on the verge of tears. When Kurt didn’t respond, Blaine spoke again. “Because I love you. I don’t remember what happened between us, but I will always remember that. I love you.”

Kurt closed his eyes. He knew that if Blaine did remember, if he remembered all that had happened between them that he wouldn’t be saying those words right now. “I know,” he choked out. “I know you think you love me because in your head, it’s still 2012 but you don’t Blaine. Not anymore.”

“I don’t believe you,” Blaine’s voice dripped with confidence, like he knew for a fact that come hell or high water, he would never stop loving Kurt.

“I’m sorry, Blaine, but you have to. You have to get over me. The last 7 years may be erased from your brain but they are all fresh in mine and if you remembered, you would know that we aren’t meant to be,” Kurt told him and with that, he stood up from his chair, not daring to look to see what Blaine’s reaction was and walked right out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! feedback is always appreciated!  
> p.s. feel free to follow me on tumblr @ queencas.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, thank you for all of the positive feedback! also, sorry this is a little on the shorter side but i felt the need to update lol. hope you enjoy :)

Kurt breathed in the fresh air while he could. He knew it was only minutes before Rachel came outside to reprimand him. He just couldn’t breathe in that hospital. Being in the same room with Blaine was suffocating, Blaine telling Kurt that he loved him was even worse. Kurt had no doubt in his mind that Blaine loved him in _2012_ but he knew that his feelings weren’t there anymore and somehow that just made the whole situation more awful.

Kurt thought about the words Blaine had said to him after a fight they had in the loft so many years ago. “ _I’m just so scared that one day you’ll wake up and think ‘I don’t love him anymore.’_ ” Kurt had told him never and somehow after all these years, that one word still rang true. He would never stop loving Blaine and it tore him to pieces at how quickly Blaine had stopped loving him. It took him barely 6 months to fall in love again, yet here Kurt was, still loving the same person he had for nearly 10 years.

Rachel’s high pitched voice broke him away from his thoughts. “You can’t do that!” She grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at her. “You can’t just run out like that, if you were feeling uncomfortable you could have got us and made us be in the room with you. He just wanted to see you, Kurt and now he probably thinks you hate him.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” He spat bitterly, looking towards the ground to avoid Rachel’s disappointed look.

“Don’t say that,” Rachel’s voice had toned down and Kurt’s eyes flickered up and there it was again, Rachel’s signature look of pity. “He needs _love_ right now, Kurt. Especially from the person he loves the most.”

“He only thinks that. I’m sure his memories will slowly start coming back and when they do, he’ll stop thinking that,” Kurt shook his head and started to walk back towards the hospital, he’d wait in the lobby for Rachel.

“What if he had died, Kurt?” Rachel called after him.

Kurt stopped and turned back towards Rachel in surprise. “What?”

“What if he died?” she repeated, taking a few steps closer to him. “It could have happened with how bad the car accident was but it didn’t.”

“Rachel, why would you say something like that?” Kurt’s eyes widened at Rachel’s suggestion. Kurt couldn’t even think about what would happen if Blaine had died.

“Because it happened to Finn,” Rachel said quietly. Kurt’s mouth parted, realizing how selfish he had been to act like this around Rachel when she actually lost the love of her life. “I never got to tell Finn how much I loved him and how much I wanted to be with him. I ruined that. I was naive and thought one day, in a few years, I would swoop in and get him back. Then he was torn from me before I even got the chance to say goodbye. I don’t want that to happen to you. I know you love Blaine, don’t let him think you don’t because one day he is going to be gone and I truly hope that he lives a long, long life but that doesn’t matter if you let him think that you hate him.”

“I’m sorry, Rachel,” he pulled at her hand. “I didn’t mean to sound so selfish, I didn’t even think about that. But you’re right. I should try to push all this bitterness aside and try to be his friend. It’s been 5 years. I need to suck it up.”

Rachel smiled at him and squeezed his hand. “I’ve been waiting to hear you say that for a long time,” she chuckled, tugging his hand and pulling him back towards the hospital. “You’re going to apologize to Blaine, right?”

“Yeah, I will,” he promised her. “You’ll stay with me in the room, right? It’s just really hard for me to be alone with him.”

“Of course,” Rachel said with absolute certainty, “I told you I would stick with you through this. I would only leave you two alone if it was okay with you.”’

When they got back to Blaine’s room, everyone seemed to be in conversation with Blaine, most likely filling him in more about what his life is like now. When Kurt walked in, Blaine stopped whatever he was saying and stared at Kurt. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something but he closed it almost immediately after.

“Hey, guys,” Sam nodded in their direction, “we were just telling Blaine how he works in a open mic restaurant.”

“Where he performs every Friday night,” Rachel pointed out with a bright smile as they went to join the crowd around Blaine’s bed.

“I don’t know how exciting that is when you, Ms. Rachel Berry, is on her way to becoming the queen of broadway,” Blaine grinned at her, proud to be friends with someone as amazing as Rachel Berry.

“You can tell me that after I get good feedback on opening night,” she waved Blaine’s praise off. “Literally no musical has been able to receive any hype in 4 years because _Hamilton_ will never stop receiving said hype.”

“What’s _Hamilton_?” Blaine narrowed his eyes at Rachel, most likely recognizing the name but not knowing what it had to do with musicals.

“Only the most popular musical of the decade, or even _ever_ as some might argue,” Rachel huffed at this fact, making it seem like she despised the musical but Kurt knew that wasn’t true. For the entire year after the cast album came out they would sing along and do dramatic duets. “It’s about treasury secretary Alexander Hamilton. And it’s wonderful. Lin Manuel Miranda is a genius.”

“Why would someone write a musical about Alexander Hamilton?” Blaine asked, bugging his eyes out like this was the most absurd thing he’s heard since he woke up.

“Don’t question the God that is Lin Manuel,” Kurt spoke, clutching his hand at his chest. Everyone stared at Kurt again, like they weren’t ever expecting him to speak. “What?” He made a face at everyone continued to awkwardly stare at him.

“I…” Blaine broke the silence. “I thought you were mad at me.”

Kurt sighed. He didn’t want to have this conversation with all these people in the room. Or at all. “I’m not mad at you,” he replied calmly. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings with what I said. That wasn’t my intention.”

Blaine blinked and nodded, but before he could say anything there was a knock on the door and then it opened, showing a nurse in blue scrubs. “Visiting hours are over in 5 minutes,” she informed everyone, before closing the door with a soft click.

“Thank you for coming to see me, guys,” Blaine said, grabbing Tina’s hand because she was closest to him. Tina gave him a quick hug and whispered something in his ear before walking towards the door and waited for Sam and Mercedes.

“Get better dude, seriously,” Sam said, leaning over to give him a hug. “I need you to remember that you have a crush on me because I need the love and affection that I’ve been lacking since Mercedes decided to break up with me so many years ago.”

“He doesn’t have a crush on you, Sam,” Mercedes rolled her eyes. “He hasn’t had a crush on you in 6 years.”

Sam had walked away from Blaine’s bed but mouthed over Mercedes shoulder, “yes you do,” before turning back and joining Tina at the door. Mercedes didn’t hug Blaine, she just patted shoulder and did a little wave goodbye.

“See you, guys,” Tina waved at Kurt and Rachel before all three of them walked out, leaving just Blaine, Rachel and Kurt in the room.

Blaine flickered his eyes between the both of them, his eyes landing on Kurt, waiting for him to say something but Rachel stepped up. “I’m really sorry this happened to you, Blaine,” she said sincerely, leaning over to give him a hug. “But thank god you can move because you’re being forced into seeing my opening night next week.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Blaine laughed into Rachel’s shoulder, the sound shooting right to Kurt’s heart. He missed that laugh.

When Rachel walked away and waited at the door for Kurt, he knew it was his turn to say goodbye. He walked closer to Blaine, not really knowing what to do. He was spared by having to think of anything because Blaine looked up at him through his dark eyelashes and asked, “will you hug me?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Kurt rushed out quickly and leaned over to wrap his arms around Blaine, inhaling sharply at the contact. Blaine’s hand moved up and rested on the small of Kurt’s back.

“I missed you,” Blaine muttered in Kurt’s ear and Blaine nuzzled his face in Kurt’s shoulder like he used to. No matter how much it hurt Kurt, he let Blaine hug him because even though it pained him emotionally, physically it felt so good to hug Blaine again. It felt good to be this close to him.

“I missed you, too,” Kurt admitted, finally pulling himself off Blaine. “We’ve got to go. Who’s picking you up tomorrow to take you to your apartment?”

“Sam is,” Blaine told him.

“Okay,” Kurt nodded. “Feel better.”

“Will do,” Blaine smiled at him one last time before Rachel and Kurt walked out of the hospital room.

When they got back to the apartment, the TV was still on but _Rent_ had stopped playing so he popped out the disk and turned the TV off. They kind of rushed out of the apartment when they found out Blaine was in the hospital so they hadn’t bothered putting their half eaten ice cream back in the freezer, so it was melted. He sighed, disappointed that he wasted his favorite ice cream but he dumped the rest in the sink and threw it out.

“Hey, I’m going to go to bed,” Rachel told him. “Rehearsals tragically start at 6am tomorrow. Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered though he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt. “I’m cooking dinner tomorrow. Ask Jesse if he wants to come over.”

“Are you working tomorrow?” she asked him with a tilt of her head. Kurt was his own boss so he made his own schedule.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I don’t have a lot on order right now. I might stop by the studio and get a few things done but I got a few guys working tomorrow so I might not have to.”

“Okay, well, hurry and get me that red dress that I wanted done. I need it for my after party,” she winked at him. Rachel had peeked at one of his designs a few weeks ago and fell in love, demanding that he made it for her opening night after party and he figured it was the least he could do.

“It’s almost done,” he promised her. “Now go get your beauty sleep.”

She smiled before walking over to him and giving him a hug. “Goodnight. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

After Rachel went into her room, Kurt took a quick shower and changed into pajamas before going into his room. He knew it was early but after what happened today, he was exhausted and just wanted to sleep so he didn’t have to think about it anymore.

But as soon as his head hit the pillow, he knew he wasn’t going to be able to stop thinking about it. His mind was racing. He had just saw _Blaine Anderson_ for the first time in three years. He’s spent so long trying to push Blaine out of his mind, trying to put a wall up so he wouldn’t get hurt again. So, of course, today out of all days, he had to see him again. All of that work he put into that wall felt like it was slowly starting to crumble because he did hurt. It hurt him to see Blaine again but it hurt him so much more to see Blaine in the state he was in, weak and in pain.

He hadn’t thought much about how this could be hurting Blaine emotionally. Kurt had been so worried about keeping his guard up and pushing Blaine away, he hadn’t thought about how Blaine’s head was in 2012 right now. 2012, when Blaine still loved Kurt, when Blaine still wanted to be with Kurt. Just knowing that they weren’t together anymore probably hurt Blaine.

He sighed and stood up, walking towards his memory drawer and flipping through it till his eyes landed on the Juicy Fruit wrapper ring Blaine had made him for Christmas during Kurt’s senior year. It had promised Kurt so much, it promised him hope and love. It promised there was always going to be someone there to care for him and protect him. He wished it was still true.

He slipped it on his finger and couldn’t help but smile. It was so cute and he didn’t have the heart in him to take it off, so he shut the drawer and crawled back into his bed. Kurt finally fell asleep with a twinge of something in his stomach. Something like hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys liked this chapter! sorry for my hamilton drop. i cant go 5 minutes without praising hamilton or lin manuel miranda so it was bound to happen eventually. woops.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry it took me a little bit longer than usual to update! i've been a bit busier and my senior year is coming up so i've been kind of going crazy thinking about college. it's only going to get worse when school starts lmao. but thank you to everyone who continues to show interest in my story! i really appreciate it!

Kurt was woken up by the sound of his phone buzzing. He groaned and looked at the time, it was 4:14am.  _ Who the hell would be calling this early in the morning? _ Kurt sighed and glanced at the phone, he didn’t recognize the number but he picked it up just in case it was important.

“Hello?” he mumbled sleepily into the phone.

“I remembered something,” the voice told him flatly.  _ Blaine _ . It was Blaine’s voice on the other end. 

“What?” Kurt asked, he was too tired to think straight. 

“I know I probably woke you and I’m really sorry but I had a dream and I’m pretty sure it was a memory and it was about us, Kurt, and I really need to talk to you about it,” Blaine rambled.

Kurt was a little more alert now and he sat up in his bed, leaning his head against his headboard. “Blaine, this better be a really important memory because you did not wake me up at four in the morning to tell me you remembered us hugging or something.”

“No,” Blaine laughed a little, but then his voice shifted into something a little sadder. “That’s not what I remembered. I...it’s kind of fuzzy. We were in some sort of bar, I don’t remember the name. I was singing  _ Teenage Dream _ to you and I was upset about something. I can’t remember what. And then it kind of jumped to me looking at you crying and you walking away from me. Was that real?”

Kurt sighed. He did not want to talk about this with Blaine, it would just make them both upset over something that they both had put in the past a long time ago. “It was the first time we ever broke up.”

“The first?” Blaine asked, surprised. “We broke up more than once?”

“I…” Kurt didn’t know what to say. He hated reliving all of this. He especially hated the fact that the first thing that Blaine remembered was them breaking up. “Twice. We broke up twice. The first time you...well, and the second, I already told you how that went down.”

“Kurt,” Blaine sounded like he was trying to remain calm, “you just completely deflected telling me how we first broke up.”

“I shouldn’t tell you,” Kurt decided. “You should try to remember it yourself.”

“I can’t,” his calm facade was slowly breaking away, “I can’t remember anything, Kurt. I know everyone wants me to try to remember most things on my own but that could take months, years even. They could not come back at all.  _ Please _ , just tell me this one thing. I need to know.”

“How’d you even get my number?” Kurt asked. He knew Blaine didn’t have his phone and even if he did, he wouldn’t have had Kurt’s number in his phone. 

“Tina left it on a post-it note next to the phone,” Blaine told him. That explains what Tina whispered into his ear. 

“Of course it was Tina,” Kurt groaned. He loved that girl but she was too much sometimes and that’s saying a lot. He’s lived with Rachel Berry for seven years. 

Blaine was quiet for a second. “You know, if you don’t want to talk to me that badly you could just hang up.”

“Is that what you want me to do?”

“No,” Blaine responded immediately. “I mean- I barely get to talk to you anymore.”

“Blaine, you haven’t talked to me in three years,” Kurt reminded him gently. 

“My brain hasn’t really caught up to that yet,” Blaine gave him a half-hearted laugh, “from what I can understand, I saw you a few weeks ago. That was when I told you to go to New York. Then, you started working at Vogue and-”

“I remember,” Kurt assured him. That was the start of their inevitable break up. “I didn’t have time to talk to you. Where your head's at right now, it’s not too long before we first broke up.”

“Will you please tell me what happened?” Kurt could tell by the sound of Blaine’s voice how serious he was about this. 

Kurt sighed again. “Fine, but you can’t freak out. This happened seven years ago. I forgave you a long time ago for what happened then.”

“Forgave me?” Blaine’s suddenly voice went up an octave. “What did I do?”

“You cheated on me,” Kurt blurted out. He didn’t mean for it to come out that way, but it did. 

“No,” Blaine’s voice shook. “I would never do something like that.”

“Well, you did,” Kurt said, failing at hiding the bitterness in his tone. “It was with some random guy who friended you on Facebook.”

“No wonder you hate me,” Blaine said it so quietly that Kurt barely heard it.

“ _ Blaine _ ,” Kurt’s voice cracked on the name. “I could never-”

“Don’t say that just because you feel bad for me,” Blaine interrupted me. “I’m not stupid. You...you don’t love me anymore.” Blaine had barely choked out that last sentence, and Kurt could hear sniffling from the other end of the call. “I shouldn’t have called you, I’m sorry.”

“Blaine-”

“No, Kurt. You don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t have to say anything. I understand. I just- I really love you. You know that, right?” Blaine was quiet while he waited for Kurt to respond, but Kurt had nothing to say. “I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have said that. You probably don’t even care anymore. I’m just gonna- I’m gonna hang up now. I hope you’ll still come visit me because maybe future me can live without you but I can’t. Even if you’ll just be my friend. I’m rambling, sorry. I said I would hang up- I, just… bye, Kurt. Goodnight.”

Blaine hung up the phone before Kurt could give him a response.  _ What the hell just happened?  _ Kurt looked at the ring he was wearing, the sense of hope that it gave him the night before slowly drifted away. The wall he had built was fixing itself after it went crumbling the night before. He took the ring off and threw it across the room.

Rachel was right. Blaine thought Kurt hated him.  _ Didn’t he, though _ ? Kurt shook the thought out of his mind. He might have hated what had happened between them, he might have hated that he ruined the one good thing that ever happened to him, but he didn’t hate Blaine. He could never, ever in a million years hate him. Whether he liked it or not, Blaine would always have a residence in his heart. 

That’s why he needed this wall. He couldn’t let Blaine in again, not when he’s vulnerable. They would both just be taking advantage of the situation, then Blaine would eventually get his memories back and realize that and then he would hate Kurt more than he probably already does. Kurt’s the one who broke up with Blaine, after all. 

Then, once Blaine got his memories back and told Kurt to get out of his life, Kurt wouldn’t only be heartbroken, he’d be devastated. He never wanted to go through that kind of pain again and he wasn’t going to allow himself to, especially with everything going on in his life right now. He had his broadway callback in less than a week and he needs that to be his main focus right now. 

He needed to sleep. He needed to get his brain out of this endless loop of thoughts and just stop thinking. But it’s never that easy. 

* * *

 

After he had gotten off the phone with Kurt, Blaine broke down. He hadn’t cried since he got to the hospital, he was trying to be strong in front of his friends, in front of Kurt. But all of this was too much. Not only had he got in a car accident because he was  _ drunk driving _ , he had lost seven years worth of memories and had lost Kurt along with it. 

That hurt the most. Kurt, the person he loved more than anyone in the entire world, hadn’t spoken to him in three years. Not even a simple hello. They had been broken up for five, which Blaine still couldn’t wrap his head around. 

Five years without hugging his best friend, without kissing him. That was the first thing he wanted to do when he saw Kurt walk into his room, he just wanted to hug him and kiss him and he didn’t care that there was so many people in the room. He just looked so beautiful, he barely aged and even though he did look a little older, it just made him look even more gorgeous. 

But he knew it was worse than he thought when Kurt had froze up when he saw him. He looked like he could barely look at him, let alone want to kiss him. Now that Blaine somewhat knew what went down between them, he couldn’t blame him. 

How could he do that? How could he cheat on Kurt? Sure, he was feeling kind of crappy about being away from him and he  _ really _ missed him but he was going to see him in less than a month. Maybe Kurt could have put a little more effort in talking to him and listening to him, but it didn’t give him the right to cheat on him. Nothing excuses cheating. 

He just...he wanted to talk to someone who wouldn’t judge him. Who would listen. He picked up the phone and dialled.

“Hello?” the voice sounded barely audible and groggy, Blaine then remembered it was 4:30 in the morning and everyone is sleeping at this time. 

“Mom?” Blaine asked, not entirely sure if he had dialled the right number.

“Blaine,” she answered softly. “I’m sorry I haven’t called you, your friends told me about what happened. I couldn’t get a flight until tomorrow.”

“That’s okay,” Blaine sniffed and rubbed at his eyes. 

“Honey, what’s wrong?” His mom’s voice piped up a little bit, worry growing in her tone. 

“Kurt and I broke up,” his chest heaved, a sob escaping his body. It hurt so much more to say it out loud. “I mean, you knew that, but I-”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry,” Pam whispered into the phone. “I know how much you love him.”

“Do I..do I still?” It was the question he was dying to know, the one thing he cared about it. He had no doubt that he still did, considering how he felt when he saw Kurt, how it felt to hug him. He just had to know for sure and if anyone would know that, it was his mom. 

“Of course you still do, B. Did they tell you about David?” 

“Karofsky?” He wasn’t sure why his mom would mention him and truthfully, he didn’t want to hear about him. “I know that I dated him after Kurt and I broke up but not much else.”

“Well, Kurt was a big reason as to why you two broke up,” Pam informed him. 

“Really?”

“He found you looking through pictures of you and Kurt, and it wasn’t the first time he caught you either,” Pam sounded happier than she did a minute ago, like she was pleased that he caused Dave to break up with him. Pam always loved Kurt. She was always way more accepting of him than his dad was, but he took what he could get. His dad will always be uncomfortable with him being gay, but at least he made an effort to be polite. “Dave said something like he couldn’t believe he was with someone for three years who was clearly still in love with someone else. Then, he asked you if you still loved Kurt and you said yes. That was the end of your relationship with Dave. You haven’t dated anyone since.”

“Wow,” was the only word Blaine could seem to muster up. It felt like he was being told a story, like this happened to someone else. He couldn’t remember any of this, so how was it supposed to feel like it happened to him?

“Do you want to come home, Blaine?” Pam asked suddenly. “I know this must be hard for you. I barely get to see you anymore, kiddo. It might be nice for the both of us, especially since you’ll be in familiar surroundings.”

“I would love to come home,” Blaine told her truthfully, “but I can’t. My doctor told me that if I’m going to get my memories back, I have to put myself in the situation I was before my car accident. My friends are going to help me get back on my feet. I’d love it if you helped too. And you know...I guess, Ohio isn’t my home anymore. I live in New York now.” Blaine smiled a little. Out of all the things that terrified him about losing his memories, finding out he lived in New York was one of the good things. This was his dream. He always wanted to live here. He just wished he was living his dream with Kurt. 

“Okay, whatever you want,” his mom said sadly. “I’m going to go back to bed. I have to be at the airport by 11 tomorrow. I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Blaine said into the phone before hanging it up. 

He felt a lot better after talking to his mom. He just hoped that she would help him get through this because he doesn’t think he can get through it on his own. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should probably warn y'all that this is gonna be super slow-burnish. there's just a lot of baggage between the both of them and it's gonna take a while to sort it out. unlike in the show where they didnt talk anything out lol & kurt just told blaine he loved him and everything was okay again???? nah fam


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait! i hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Having dinner with Jesse St. James and Rachel Berry was like having dinner with the Kardashians. They never stopped gossiping and complaining, only mentioning the show here and there. If Kurt didn’t know any better, he’d think Jesse was gay but he knew Jesse was completely smitten with Rachel. It made sense, they were practically the same person and they were both already obsessed with themselves. 

“God, I swear she is the worst understudy I’ve ever seen,” Jesse was ranting about someone  _ he _ hired, “I’m about to fire her and just hire Kurt.”

“Please don’t,” Kurt interrupted their conversation, starting to regret ever inviting Jesse to dinner. Kurt could barely ever get a word in when it came to Jesse and Rachel. “I’m going to nail my  _ Finding Neverland _ callback and you’ll be devastated that I can’t be your understudy.”

“True,” Jesse nodded in agreement.

“You know, she just can’t get the blocking right. She’s always going into profile and anyone who’s ever been on a stage knows-” Rachel’s comment was interrupted by Kurt’s phone blaring. He picked it up and looked at the caller ID.

“It’s Blaine,” Kurt said, shocked that Blaine would call him again after the last conversation they had.

“Since when did you have Blaine’s number?” Rachel asked, her eyebrows going up in question.

“Yeah, haven’t you like, not spoken to him in three years?” Jesse piped in.

“Jesse, I cannot deal with you right now, you know he lost his memory,” Kurt just waved them off and excused himself from dinner to answer Blaine’s phone call. “Hello?” 

There was a sob through the phone in response.

“Blaine, what’s the matter?” Kurt asked, his voice growing with concern. 

“I can’t do this, Kurt,” Blaine barely got the sentence out before Kurt heard a choked sob again. “Sam took me to my apartment but...nothing feels familiar. I don’t know where anything is and Sam tried to show me around but that’s not enough. I feel like I’m in somebody else’s home.”

“I’m really sorry, Blaine but why are you calling me about this?” Kurt knew he sounded like a jerk, but Kurt wasn’t the only person he could call about something like this. 

“Because right now, you’re the most familiar thing there is to me,” Blaine replied, his voice quiet. 

Kurt didn’t respond for a moment. “What about your parents?”

“My mom’s flight got delayed so she won’t be here for another hour or so,” Blaine explained. “And you know my dad…”

“Yeah, I know,” Kurt responded softly. Kurt knew Blaine’s dad wasn’t the best person to rely on. But it still shocked Kurt a little, whenever something bad happened, his dad was usually there for Blaine. “But that doesn’t really answer my question.”

“You know, my mom asked me if I wanted to come home last night,” Blaine mentioned, still avoiding the topic. 

“Home? As in Ohio?” Kurt was surprised that Blaine referred to Ohio as home, Blaine had lived in New York almost as long as Kurt. New York was home to Kurt, he thought it would be to Blaine too. He didn’t wait for Blaine’s answer. “What did you say?” 

“I said I didn’t want to. That it was better for me to stay here. That New York is my home now,” Blaine’s voice wavered. “But now that I’m here, in my apartment, it doesn’t feel like that. And I’m kind of freaking out. Maybe they shouldn’t have checked me out of the hospital so early...maybe- maybe I should go back to Lima.” 

“Blaine, I’m really not the right person to be talking to about this,” Kurt said. Blaine didn’t realize it, but unloading his problems onto his ex-boyfriend probably wasn’t the best idea considering Kurt just wanted to desperately get back to his normal life and his one day a year of crying over Blaine Anderson. He had a feeling that he couldn’t have his one day anymore. “You have friends.”

“I usually talk about this stuff with you,” Blaine said quietly. 

Kurt let out a sigh. How many times was he going to have to remind Blaine that they aren’t together anymore? “No, you don’t.”

Blaine didn’t respond for a moment and Kurt heard sniffling through the phone. Blaine was still crying. “Can you please come over? I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Blaine, I really can’t,” Kurt felt his throat tightening again, like it did when he entered Blaine’s hospital room for the first time. That feeling like he had no air to breathe in. 

“ _ Please _ ,” Blaine sounded so desperate that it actually physically hurt Kurt to hear. 

“I’m having dinner with Rachel and Jesse,” Kurt felt bad for Blaine but he desperately did not want to go over Blaine’s apartment. “And I don’t even know where you live.”

“Come after dinner,” Blaine suggested. “I can text you my address.” 

“I don’t know, Blaine. Rachel and Jesse have been so busy with rehearsals and I promised I would hang out with them tonight despite how irritating they can be.”

Blaine chuckled at Kurt’s comment but his laughter quickly faded. “Rachel lives with you, Kurt. You haven’t seen me in three years.” 

“You’re right,” Kurt admitted. “I’m sorry. I’ll come over, but only till your mom gets here.”

“Thank you,” Kurt could practically hear Blaine’s smile through the phone. “I’ll text you the address.” 

Blaine quickly hung up the phone and barely a minute later, Kurt’s phone pinged with Blaine’s address on his screen. Kurt texted him back that he’d be there in a half an hour or so, then he went back out to Rachel and Jesse. 

“What was that about?” Jesse asked when Kurt sat back down and Rachel looked at Kurt intently. 

“Blaine wants me to come to his apartment,” Kurt put his head in his hand, feeling kind of miserable at the idea. Jesse waggled his eyebrows at Kurt. “Oh, god. Not like that. What happened to that new leaf you turned over  _ years  _ ago?”

“I’m just trying to make light of the situation,” Jesse said defensively as if that made it any  _ less _ offensive. 

“This situation shouldn’t be made light of,” Kurt argued back. “He thinks he’s still in 12th grade, for god’s sake. How am I supposed to deal with 18 year old Blaine? You know how I feel about teenagers.”

“Look, old man Kurt,” Rachel began, a smile creeping on her lips, “I saw how Blaine was in the hospital room. He might think he’s still 18 but I know he doesn’t act like it. He might night be your friend anymore but he’s still mine. I have put up with respecting your ‘I don’t want to see him I am too heartbroken’ act for too long. You promised you would  _ try _ to be friends with him, so at the least, please just be nice to him. Indulge your ex-boyfriend who just got in a severe car accident and lost seven years worth of memories.”

“Rachel, I already told him I would come over,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes at his best friend.

Rachel squealed. “Yay! Ignore everything I just said. I can’t wait for you two to be best friends again! Don’t worry about me and Jesse, we can have our date night without you.” 

Somehow Kurt had become an extension to Jesse and Rachel’s relationship these past three years because Rachel insisted that they experience everything together. When Kurt had tried to explain to her that that shouldn’t include her dating life she said, and he quotes, “well, you’re never going to get another boyfriend anyway so you might as well just date Jesse with me.” Miraculously, Jesse didn’t seem to mind. Kurt was so grateful that when they got engaged, Jesse didn’t get a ring for him too. That would have been very awkward. 

“Rachel, we aren’t going to be best friends again. I’m just going to be supportive of him until he gets his memories back,” he said, picking up his fork to finish his meal. 

“Mmhmm,” was all had Rachel had to say. For once. But of course, there was another Rachel in the room. 

“Weren’t you two, like, inseparable in high school?” Jesse asked after swallowing down spaghetti. 

“How would you know?” Kurt looked at him pointedly. “You graduated when we were in 10th grade and then disappeared.”

“Not true,” Jesse pointed at Kurt with his fork. “I came back to coach Vocal Adrenaline. Remember?”

“Unfortunately,” Kurt replied. He regretted saying it almost immediately after. He shouldn’t have been sarcastic about remembering something after what Blaine had just been through. “That didn’t last too long though.” 

“Whatever,” Jesse waved him off. “I’m just saying, I’m friends with Blaine now-”

“That’s an overstatement,” Rachel interrupted him. “You hang out with Blaine when I hang out with Blaine, which is practically never because now I pretty much only have time for you and Kurt.”

“Anyway,” Jesse glared at his fiancee for interrupting him, but Kurt knew it was out of love. “From all the stories I’ve heard about you two from both him  _ and _ you-”

“I never talk about him anymore.”

“Will you let me  _ finish _ ?” Jesse directed his glare at Kurt now. “Based on the stories, you guys were super close. Pre-relationship and post-relationship. Then Blaine started dating Dave Karo-whatever and you guys stopped being friends. Now, Blaine isn’t dating that guy and you two will inevitably become best friends again, like Rachel said.”

“You know what?” Kurt said, glancing between his two friends and then standing up. “I’m just going to leave now. Because I don’t think I can take another minute of you two badgering me about this.” Kurt didn’t wait for their response and quickly took his plate, threw what was left of his food in the trash and then put the plate in the sink. He walked past the table, grabbed his coat and his keys and walked out the door. 

When he reached his car, he typed in the address of Blaine’s apartment which was oddly only a 5 minute drive from where his apartment was. (Which actually meant a 15 minute drive because his GPS doesn’t know what New York traffic was.)

After he arrived at the apartment building and Blaine buzzed him in, he went up the elevator to the 5th floor that Blaine lived on and knocked on Blaine’s door. It didn’t take him long to answer and when Blaine opened the door, his face immediately lit up. 

“Kurt!” he exclaimed happily. Blaine moved towards him and for a split second he thought Blaine was going to kiss him, but his head moved in the opposite direction and he took a step and encircled his arms around Kurt. “I’m so happy you came.”

Kurt just squeezed Blaine’s shoulder in response and then carefully removed himself from Blaine’s embrace. “May I come in?”

“You may,” Blaine smiled at him and moved to the side of the door, gesturing for Kurt to come inside. Kurt didn’t know what he was expecting of Blaine’s apartment, but he wasn’t too surprised when he walked in. The aesthetic of it somewhat matched Blaine’s old room when he still lived in Lima. The walls were painted a light blue, there was artwork and broadway posters hanging up in various places. He had a black and blue striped couch with a small coffee table in front of it and a television across from the couch. 

“Sit,” Blaine insisted and ushered Kurt to the couch. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“I’m okay,” Kurt smiled up at Blaine. “Thank you, though.”

“No problem,” Blaine shrugged and sat down next to Kurt. “Really, though, thank you for coming over. I know...I know we’re not on the best of terms right now.”

“Understatement.”

“Right,” Blaine nodded. “I just don’t know how he...I went all these years without crawling back to you. We weren’t just boyfriends, we were best friends.”

“You went 16 years without having me as your friend, I guess you had to relearn what it was like to live without me. Must have been hard considering how awesome I am,” Kurt joked, hoping to steer the conversation in a different direction.

Blaine didn’t think it was funny. “I’m not the only one guilty here, you know. You had just as much influence in not talking to me as I did you. Also, you’re the one who broke up with me.” 

“And you’re the one who jumped in a relationship barely 3 months after we broke up,” Kurt knew this argument wasn’t going to go anywhere, Blaine didn’t remember what happened but Kurt felt the need to defend himself. He never actually got to have a conversation with Blaine about this. After Kurt came back and confessed he wanted to get back together with Blaine, it all kind of crumbled from there. He found out Blaine was dating Karofsky and it was just too awkward for them to talk to each other after that. He knew if he continued to be friends with Blaine, he had to deal with Karofsky by extension. 

“I don’t know why I would do that,” Blaine said quietly. “I can’t imagine myself wanting anyone else but you, let alone Dave Karofsky. Your freakin’ high school bully.”

“Not that I don’t agree with you, but you know he turned over a new leaf,” Kurt pointed out. “I guess his newfound niceness was just something you couldn’t turn down.” Kurt was trying really hard to not sound bitter because Dave really was a nice guy now, but he couldn’t help it. 

“I don’t believe that and I know you don’t either.” 

“That’s the thing, you don’t  _ know _ . You don’t know me, Blaine. You don’t even know yourself. You lost  _ seven _ years worth of memories. Not one, not two, seven. People change a lot in a seven year span.”

Blaine just nodded his head, no verbal response to what Kurt had just said. Blaine looked so sad and Kurt couldn’t blame him. What if the roles were reversed? If he woke up and thought he was still in 2012, he would be absolutely devastated if he found out him and Blaine weren’t together. 

“I’m sorry,” Kurt said, moving his hand to touch Blaine’s shoulder which caused Blaine to perk up. “I know this is really hard for you. I’m being a jerk. I’m trying not to be but this is all so weird and difficult. I truly didn’t think I’d ever see you again unless it was a big event of one of our close friends.”

Blaine was crying again and he had put his head in his hands. Kurt never remembered Blaine being so emotional but this situation was much worse than anything Blaine’s ever been through. Kurt threw away all the pride he had and slung an arm around Blaine’s shoulder, pulling him closer. Like Rachel said, it didn’t matter how he felt right now. Blaine was in pain and he needed him. 

Blaine fisted his hand in Kurt’s shirt and was sobbing into Kurt’s chest. Kurt rubbed Blaine’s back soothingly, trying to provide as much comfort as he could but knew he was failing. Blaine knew how Kurt felt about all of this, and it wasn’t exactly happy feelings. “I’m sorry,” Blaine mumbled. “I’m ruining your shirt with my tears.”

Kurt laughed and patted Blaine’s back. “It’s okay, it’ll dry.”

Blaine laughed too and wiped at his eyes before letting go of Kurt. “My emotions have been all over the place since I woke up. I’m sorry I have been kind of taking that out on you.”

“It’s understandable. You don’t have to apologize for being upset over the fact that you got in a car accident and lost your memories,” Kurt smiled sadly at him. “I’m the one who’s been making this even more difficult for you. I’m really sorry. You got plucked from Lima and put in a big city that you don’t understand yet. Maybe you should go back to Lima for a little bit.”

“You’re right,” Blaine nodded. “I think that will be good for me. I’ll talk to my mom about it when she gets here.”

“Speaking of which, when will Pam be here? I haven’t seen her in awhile and I think she’s just going to kick my ass if she sees me,” Kurt loved Blaine’s mom, but he was willing to bet that she hated him. He practically walked out of Blaine’s life five years ago, which meant, by extension, walked out of her life too. 

“No she wouldn’t! She loves you, trust me,” Blaine insisted. “I think she would really like to see you.”

“Are you sure?” Kurt was hesitant. He hadn’t seen Blaine’s mom since Santana and Britt’s wedding. “I haven’t seen her in five years, Blaine.”

“Then take this as an opportunity to catch up with her, and maybe with me. I know where I’m at in life but nobody has really told me what’s been up with you,” he gestured at Kurt with a hopeful look on his face. 

This was going to be a long night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading guys! also, i'm going to new york on sunday for the first time in my life which is weird considering i live in philly which is in close proximity to nyc. but anyway i'm v excited & i'm hopefully gonna be able to do some research and find some more places so kurt & blaine aren't holed up in their apartments for my entire story! thanks again and feedback is appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

When Pam Anderson walked into Blaine’s apartment, Kurt was very surprised when he wasn’t met with a kick to the head. Instead, he was met with Pam practically toppling him over and squeezing the life out of him. 

“It’s good to see you, kid. I can’t believe it’s been three years. Thank you so much for staying with Blaine when I couldn’t be here. It means a lot to me,” Pam said into his ear before pulling back, a hand still on his shoulder. “You look good. How is everything? I haven’t talked to Carole in about a year-”

“You talked to  _ Carole _ while Blaine and I were broken up?” Kurt stared at Pam, bewildered. He had no idea they were even friends. 

“Well, we had to keep each other updated on our favorite boys,” Pam replied, beaming at Kurt, then turning to her son. “Speaking of, how are you feeling, Blaine?”

“I’ve been better,” he smiled at his mom, waving his casted arm at her and then pulling her into a hug. “Thank you for being here.”

“Of course, honey,” she kissed his cheek and pulled away from him. “I’m sorry your dad couldn’t be here. He was caught up with work. He does wish he could be here.”

“I’m sure he does, mom,” Blaine’s smile now seemed a little strained. Kurt knew Blaine would be upset at that, his dad should be there for him no matter how much work he was caught up in. If this had happened to Kurt, his dad would have been there in a heartbeat. Speaking of which, he should probably call his dad and tell him what happened. He’d be mad at Kurt if he found out from someone else and Kurt knew. 

The three of them sat on Blaine’s couch, Blaine in the middle and Pam and Kurt on either side of him. “Kurt,” Pam began, “how is your fashion business going? I know it was barely in its diapers when I last talked to Carole.”

“Um, it’s going pretty well,” Kurt smiled at her awkwardly. “I saved up enough to buy a studio, so now we have an online store. It’s called Kurt’s Kouture, obviously. But even though that’s doing well, I’m still hoping to get back on broadway.”

“Back?” Blaine piped in. 

“I was a swing in a show a few years back,” Kurt explained. “But once it closed, Isabelle kept telling me to start my own business now that I stopped working at Vogue. So I did. It’s doing well, but you know broadway is where my heart is at.”

Blaine was looking at Kurt like he was in awe of him. “I can’t believe you’re doing all of this. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Kurt couldn’t help but blush. “I got a callback for  _ Finding Neverland _ . It’s coming back to broadway after 3 years of it being off.”

“You’re going to get it,” Blaine said assuredly. “You’re amazing. There’s no way you wouldn’t.”

“I hope,” Kurt sighed. “It’s okay if I don’t. It’s not like I’m a starving actor, I can still be content with my business if I don’t get it.” 

“Oh, you’ll get it,” Pam said. “I’ve seen you sing. You’re almost as good as my son.” Pam smiled at Blaine and nudged him with her shoulder.

“Have I auditioned for anything on Broadway?” Blaine inquired, looking at Kurt and then to his mother. 

“No,” Pam shook her head. “You started working at a theatre off-broadway that was exclusively for shows for kids. You loved it so much that you stopped wanting to do anything else but that. Right now, you only are acting and it doesn’t pay much so that’s why you have to work at the restaurant too. But you’re being promoted soon, which means you’ll have a hand in the shows they choose and the actual production of the shows which means you’ll be getting paid more.” 

“That’s...not what I expected but awesome nonetheless,” Blaine’s smile faltered. “Tina told me I graduated from NYU. Did I not get into NYADA?”

“Why do you use Tina to get information from?” Kurt groaned and put his head in his hands. This explained why he barely kept in touch with Tina anymore, only seeing and talking to her when he had to. 

“Why do  _ you  _ always deflect my questions?” Blaine asked, annoyance creeping into his tone. 

“Um, you did get into NYADA,” Pam interrupted, saving them from the argument they were about to have. “But, uh, things happened and you couldn’t attend anymore.”

“ _ Things? _ Mom, I thought you would at least be completely honest with me,” Blaine looked disappointed. “I don’t understand why I wouldn’t continue to attend NYADA if I got in.”

“Blaine, it’s not my place to explain this to you. In fact, I think it would be best if you and Kurt had a long, mature conversation about what happened between the two of you when you’re  _ both _ ready,” Pam said calmly, looking at both of them nervously. 

“What does this have to do with Kurt?” Blaine narrowed his eyes at his mom. 

“A lot,” Kurt answered. “I really think you should try to fill in the rest of the details in yourself. I can’t just tell you everything that happened.” 

“I might never remember!” Blaine exclaimed, clearly frustrated. “We already talked about this.”

“Blaine, it’s barely been a day. You already remembered something, so I’m willing to bet you will continue remembering stuff. Just give it a few weeks, please? You need to be a patient.” Kurt was glad Pam was there because somehow, her presence was keeping him relatively calm. 

“You’re right,” Blaine put his hand over Kurt’s and Kurt tried hard not to flinch. “I’m sorry for being so pushy about all of this. It’s just you don’t understand how frustrating it is to find all these things out and not remember them happening.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Blaine,” Pam said, resting a hand on Blaine’s shoulder. “What happened is not your fault.”

“Mom,” Blaine let go of Kurt’s hand and turned towards Pam. “You know how you asked me if I wanted to come home? I-I think I want to do that. Everything is so confusing and it would be nice to just be in a familiar area. Maybe I can help Sam with the New Directions for a little while.”

“Are you sure?” Pam asked. “You seemed pretty confident that you wanted to stay in New York.”

“I’m sure,” Blaine nodded. “I think it’ll be good for me. I should take things a little slower and everything in New York is so fast and-”

“You can absolutely come home with me,” Pam smiled at her son. “I miss having you around. Anyway, are you hungry? Have you eaten yet?”

“Uh, no,” Blaine replied. “I haven’t eaten anything yet.”

“Okay,” Pam patted Blaine’s shoulder before standing up, “Kurt and I will go make you something. You stay here.”

“Um...okay,” Blaine gave his mom a confused look before picking up the remote on the coffee table and turning on the TV.

Kurt stood up and followed Pam into the kitchen. He was not excited to talk to Pam alone. She might have been playing nice for Blaine’s sake and he was not ready for Pam Anderson’s wrath. 

“All right,” Kurt said, opening his arms, “just get it over with. Yell at me.”

“Kurt, I’m not going to yell at you,” Pam sighed and opened one of Blaine’s cabinets, pulling out a box of angel hair pasta. “Am I a little upset that you stopped talking to me after you broke up with Blaine? Sure. But Blaine did the same to your family. It’s understandable. I wanted to talk to you because I think you deserve to know some things that Blaine isn’t going to be able to tell you.”

“Like what?” Kurt asked, wearily eyeing Pam. 

“Like the reason Blaine and David broke up,” Pam replied while filling up a pot with water. 

“I don’t see how that’s any of my business,” Kurt said, but really he just didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to hear about Blaine and Dave’s relationship, even the ending of it. 

Pam put the pot on the stove and turned the stove on, letting the water boil and then she turned to Kurt. “It’s your business because the reason they broke up is because of  _ you _ .”

Kurt snorted. “I’m sorry, you expect me to believe that when they were together for three years? Maybe if it was only a few months after I would believe that, but not years.”

“Why would I lie about that?” Pam crossed her arms. Kurt didn’t have an answer. There really was no reason for her to make it up. “See? I wouldn’t. They broke up because Dave found Blaine looking at pictures of you and him. Dave was angry and Blaine admitted that he still loved you. Blaine loves you, Kurt. He never stopped.”

Kurt felt his eyes well up with tears and he quickly blinked them away. “I wish that mattered, Pam.” Kurt felt like he was going to throw up. “But it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter if we still love each other, we don’t know each other anymore.”

“Then start over,” Pam suggested.

“It doesn’t work like that. There will always be this past between us. It’s not something that’s going to go away.”

“I don’t want to see my son miserable anymore,” Pam looked sad. “He was always happiest when he was with you.”

“Pam, I can’t just swoop back into his life. I care about him, I really do. But we both need time. Once that time is given to us, maybe he and I can have a conversation about our relationship. But I need to have that conversation when he remembers the past seven years.” 

“And if that doesn’t happen?”

“Then...then we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” Kurt merely shrugged his shoulders, there wasn’t more to say. “Look, it was really nice seeing you. But I think I should go. Rachel and Jesse are waiting for me back home.”

“Well, don’t be a stranger anymore,” Pam took a step closer to Kurt and pulled him in for a hug. “I miss Blaine being around, but I miss you too. And I’m sure Carole and Burt miss Blaine.” 

“I’m sure they do,” Kurt smiled and let go of Pam. “See you later. Remember to go easy on the butter.”

Pam grinned at him, most likely remembering how Kurt had criticized the amount of butter she put on pasta the first time he ever ate over Blaine’s. “I will. See you, kid.”

Kurt gave her a quick wave before walking back out to the living room to say goodbye to Blaine. “Hey, I’m going to head out.”

Blaine paused the show he was watching. “Already?”

“Yeah, I still feel kind of bad for ditching Rachel and Jesse,” Kurt explained. “And I have a pint of ice cream that’s waiting to be eaten in my freezer.” 

Blaine laughed at that and stood up, immediately pulling Kurt into his arms. “I’ll miss you while I’m in Lima,” Blaine mumbled into Kurt’s shoulder.

“I’ll miss you, too,” Kurt replied truthfully. No matter how much it hurt to see Blaine, a part of him still felt so good to be around him again. Kurt squeezed Blaine one more time before pulling away. “All right. Feel better.”

“I’ll try,” Blaine smiled at him before waving his goodbye. Kurt waved back and exited the apartment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this was so short! i felt like i was depriving you guys and needed to get something out soon because my life is gonna become super busy v soon & im probably only gonna be able to update once or twice a month. anyway, i went to new york last sunday! it was so fun and i am in love & cant wait to (hopefully) live there next year! but guess who i saw there? jENNA USHKOWITZ! i saw waitress & she was so good in it. basically i was in the same room as tina cohen-chang and im very happy about it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i warned y'all there was gonna be a wait but i still feel bad about it. i sincerely apologize and honestly, the waits are only going to get worse. i really hope you enjoy this chapter though! thank you so much for sticking with this story!

Blaine was still really conflicted about going to Lima. On the one hand, he’d be away from Kurt and he didn’t want that, no matter how much Kurt seemed to. Which hurt. A lot. On the other hand, he wanted to go back to Lima because the familiarity would help him adjust to the fact that his memories were lost, instead of feeling like he’s been hit with a ton of bricks because of this new life that’s been thrown at him that he can’t even begin to understand. If he can’t be with Kurt in New York, then he wanted to be with his family in Lima. 

He just wished he could have both. Blaine knew Kurt was right about one thing though, Kurt had changed since 2012. He changed a lot. It still didn’t make Blaine love Kurt any less. Kurt was more confident than he was before, he held himself higher and he smiled brighter. He seemed a lot more comfortable in his body and had gained a lot more muscle, which Blaine definitely wasn’t complaining about. Kurt even somehow started dressing better which Blaine didn’t think was possible. He was happy that Kurt was happy with himself. That’s all that Blaine’s ever wanted. Well, that  _ and _ to be with Kurt. At least he could have one of those things, even if it’s not the latter.

He stayed in New York until Monday afternoon, Kurt had offered to drive them to JFK but Blaine politely declined because he was sure that if he saw Kurt again he wouldn’t be able to leave. They took a cab instead and made it to the airport by 12:30, 2 hours before their 2:30 flight. 

They landed in Ohio around 3:45 and Sam was there to pick them up. “Hey, buddy,” Sam said in greeting, slinging an arm around Blaine’s shoulder and walking him towards his car. Pam was following behind them. “So, I had to come get you from work. I’m making the Glee kids stay a little while after. I was wondering if you wanted to come and see what we were prepping for Regionals.”

“Dude, we’re an hour away from Lima,” Blaine replied. “Why would you make the kids stay after school that late just so I can see them?”

“The New Directions stay after school for 3 hours every other day, we’ve been undefeated national champs since 2015,” Sam explained, pride blooming on his face.

“And you’ve coached all of them?” Blaine asked, actually not that surprised at all. He always had faith in Sam. 

“You bet I did,” Sam nodded enthusiastically as they finally reached his car. He opened his trunk and helped Blaine and Pam put their bags in the back. “Except for the first year, but that was before McKinley became an arts school. Kurt and Rachel coached that year.” Sam shut the drunk and they all got into the car, Blaine took the passenger seat.

“Really? Why?” 

“Rachel’s career plummeted after she bombed a TV show...long story,” he added, after glancing over and seeing Blaine’s confused look. Sam pulled out and started heading back to Lima. “So, she decided to come back to Lima for a bit, where I was actually coaching the football team. Me and Rachel got really close...another long story. Anyway, she decided to revive New Directions after it’s inevitable death. Kurt came back to Lima in either determination to get back with you, or to do his NYADA third year project. I forget which. Maybe both. Who knows. His third year project was to help coach New Directions.”

“What was I doing during all of this?” He knew he dropped out of NYADA after Kurt broke up with him, but he wasn’t sure what exactly he did after he dropped out.

“Coaching The Warblers,” Sam told him, not a hint of bitterness in his tone. 

Blaine felt his face twist into something of a shock, his loyalty was to the New Directions and the Warblers were dicks these days. “Why would I do that?”

Sam shrugged. “You got kicked out of NYADA and you needed a job. The Warblers needed a coach so they let you have it. Buh uh… I don’t know if I should tell you this…” Sam glanced up at the rearview mirror, obviously looking to Blaine’s mom to get permission to tell him something. Blaine didn’t like where this was going. 

His mom cleared her throat before speaking. “Honey, this might be hard for you to take. Do you want me to tell you?”

Blaine nodded. “Please, just tell me. I know you want to keep some things from me but I’m bound to find them out eventually.”

Pam sighed and leaned over, putting a hand on Blaine’s shoulder. “Dalton Academy...it burned down. I’m sorry, sweetheart.” 

Blaine wasn’t entirely sure how to react. He knew his jaw just of dropped out of the initial shock, but his outside reaction couldn’t possibly match his inside reaction. How did a school that’s been around since the 19th century all the sudden decide to give up? Yeah, his heart was at McKinley with the New Directions, but Dalton still meant a lot to him. It’s where he finally found somewhere safe, where he felt like he wouldn’t be judged for his sexuality. It was where he first learned to sing his heart out and find friends who supported him and loved him for who he was. But most importantly, it was where he met Kurt. The love of his life. “Was everyone okay?” He didn’t know what else to say or ask, so he felt like that was the best thing he could have asked in that moment. Probably the question everyone would ask when finding out a building burned down. 

“Yes, everyone was okay,” Pam assured him. “Physically, at least.”

“That’s...good,” Blaine decided. It was more important that everyone was safe anyway. “What happened to the students? To the Warblers?” 

“Most people transferred to McKinley,” Sam answered. “I mean, it was a private school so a good chunk of them just decided to go to other private schools. But all the Warblers stayed at McKinley and joined the New Directions.”

“Seriously?” Blaine knew how prideful the Warblers could be, he couldn’t see them actually joining the New Directions.

“They didn’t exactly have a choice. They were reluctant, but they wanted to sing again. It was hard but they managed. The rest of the New Directions even decided they would have a uniform to make them more comfortable, it was pretty much the same as the Dalton uniform, except it was red and white and it said WMHS on it.”

Blaine couldn’t help but smile. He knew how much the Warblers would have appreciated that. “Do they still have it?”

“Nah, the uniform isn’t exactly the New Directions’ style,” Sam merged onto the exit to Lima. “We stopped the year after. Half of the Warblers had graduated anyway, and the rest didn’t think it was that big of a deal and were grateful that they had it last year.”

“That’s really nice,” Blaine smiled at nothing in particular, happy that the Warblers found their place even after where they were rooted didn’t exist anymore. 

“You aren’t upset?” Pam asked. 

“Of course I’m upset. There was a lot of memories at Dalton. I’m just happy that everything was managed to be fixed, even if the building itself wasn’t,” Blaine explained. “I’m really excited to see where the New Directions are now.”

“So you’ll come and see?” Sam asked excitedly. 

“I definitely will,” he promised.

The rest of the car ride was silent. Sam stopped at Blaine’s house first, dropping Pam off and helping them get their bags back in. Blaine didn’t feel any need to go and explore the house and see what’s changed because he still felt like he was just in it days ago. 

When they made it to McKinley, it only looked slightly different than he remembered. Added on to the William McKinley High School sign was “for the arts” but that was about it. There was only a few cars left in the parking lot when Sam parked, and when he got out the car, he beamed at the school. He was so glad to be back at a place that was so familiar, even with the slight changes. 

“You  _ would _ be the one to be excited about school,” Sam noted, shaking his head at his friend and then walking towards the entrance, Blaine following close behind him. 

It felt good to walk through the doors of his high school again, to have an ounce of normalcy again. But something was still missing. It was going to stay missing until he figured out a way to get it back again. 

He might never get it back, he realized suddenly. Blaine had been looking at this like they were fighting, maybe he was just trying to protect himself from the plummeting realization that him and Kurt are really over. This isn’t just a rough patch in their relationship. Their relationship is nonexistent now and it had been for years. They aren’t even friends. 

Blaine stopped in his tracks. It took a Sam a moment to realize before he turned around, a concerned look on his face. “Sam, I-I don’t feel good all of the sudden. I think I’m going to call my mom and see if she can pick me up. I’m sorry.” 

“Buddy, I can take you home,” Sam assured him. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You have rehearsals,” Blaine shook his head, he just wanted to go home and curl up in his bed. Which probably doesn’t even exist anymore because he hasn’t lived at home in years. 

“Okay, but I’m waiting with you until your mom comes and picks you up,” Sam insisted and then gestured to Blaine’s pocket where his phone was in. “Call her.”

Blaine picked up his phone, opening it and clicking on his mom’s number and waited for her to answer. “What’s the matter?” Pam asked immediately upon answering. 

“Can you come pick me up?” Blaine felt like a 15 year old again, asking his mom to come pick him up from school because he didn’t have his license yet. Except now he did. And that was far from the reason he needed his mom right now. 

“Of course I can,” she answered, her voice soothing. “Can I ask why?”

“I just- I feel a little dizzy and my head hurts. I just want to go home,” Blaine could hear his voice turn into a whine, and now he really did sound like a 15 year old. 

“Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Pam hung up before either of them could say goodbye, and Blaine slipped his phone back into his pocket. 

“All right, let’s go wait outside,” Sam nodded his head towards the direction of the entrance and then they both walked back outside.

“You don’t look sick,” Sam pointed out, his face growing serious which wasn’t a look Sam often sported. 

“Sam, not now,” Blaine breathed through his mouth, trying to calm himself down. “I want to see the New Directions perform. I  _ really _ do. I just can’t- I thought being back in that school would make me happier but it just made me sick to my stomach.”

Sam nodded, not egging on the conversation. Sam was always really good at that, knowing when to stop talking when he knew it was going to lead to an unnecessary argument or if it would make someone upset. Most of the time Sam didn’t have a filter, but he knew how hard it was to talk about things until you were ready. He was grateful for that. 

His mom arrived shortly after, pulling up in front of Blaine and Sam. Blaine waved a quick goodbye to Sam and told him he would call him later before climbing back in the car. He loved Sam, but that phone call probably wasn’t going to happen with the mental state he was in right now. 

His mom was quiet on the way home but as soon as they got back in the house, she broke the silence. “I know you aren’t actually sick. What’s really wrong?” 

Blaine exhaled and sat on the arm of the couch, facing his mom. He didn’t want to lie to her but it didn’t mean he wanted to talk about it. “Kurt,” Blaine said simply, knowing that his mom would understand. 

“Honey, you could have stayed in New York,” Pam looked at him sympathetically. “While I do appreciate it, you didn’t have to come with me.”

“I know that,” Blaine assured her. “That’s not why I’m upset. I don’t really want to talk about it. Can I please just go upstairs?”

“You don’t need my permission,” Pam laughed, but halfheartedly. “You can take all the time you need. Just please come and talk to me when you’re ready. Or Kurt.”

“I don’t think Kurt wants to talk to me,” Blaine admitted sadly. 

Pam looked like she wanted to say something but decided better of it and she just nodded. Blaine decided to stand up and hug her. “Thanks, mom,” he said into her ear before pulling away and walking upstairs to his old room.

He was happy to see that not much has changed, his old posters were still hung up, his bed was still in the same place it was even though there was a different bed set. It was still painted the same color and his bookshelf was still pressed next to the door. There was still a television set across from his bed, but the TV was bigger which Blaine wasn’t going to complain about. His mom brought his luggage up, which he made a mental note to thank her for later. 

Blaine stripped down to his boxers and crawled up in his bed, that childish feeling he felt since getting back to Lima still lingering. Maybe he felt that way because he was longing for what he had when he was still a child, when he was sixteen and had fell in love for the first time. When he had a grasp on reality and had a person that anchored him there. Now all of his reality diminished within days and he lost the one person who made him stay in touch with this world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik there wasn't that much klaine in this chapter, but we'll get there, i promise. just to give you guys a heads up in what's coming in my life, i probably won't be able to get out a nice fleshed out lengthy chapter until winter break. my sister's getting married next month, i have her wedding shower this month and other wedding shit i have to do. the week before her wedding, i have my mock college auditions for theatre, so on top of the wedding stuff, i have to prepare and rehearse for my mock auditions. THEN, on top of that, i have senior play prep and rehearsal and then from December 1-7, I have all day tech rehearsals for that and then the actual senior play on the 8th and 9th. I also have an actual real life college audition on November 19th which I have to prepare for. So, basically, I'm going to be dead inside for the next couple of months and will barely have time to write. I'm hoping to get a chapter out to you at least once a month, but I won't be able to update regularly until after the senior play. don't be a theatre major, kids.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5 day weekends are a blessing. such a blessing, that this chapter is like 2000 more words than what a normally write. your welcome.

Kurt swore as a loud knock on his apartment door woke him up from his nap. He groaned and quickly jumped out of bed, wishing he had time to actually look at himself before opening the door. Who knocks before calling anyway? He didn’t have anything being delivered so it made no sense why someone was knocking. He walked out of his bedroom and rushed into the living room, swinging open the door. Then he blinked. 

There was a girl standing in front of him. A very, very short girl with red hair flowing down to her waistline looking up at him with a panic stricken look. “You must be Kurt,” she breathed, hastily pushing past him into the apartment. Kurt’s mouth parted as he stared at this girl, who couldn’t be more than 19, that just very rudely forced herself into his apartment. “Where’s Rachel? I need to talk to her.”

Kurt cleared his throat, then schooled his features into a bitch face. “Would you mind explaining who you are and why you just barged into my apartment before I call the police?”

“Cady,” she answered, as if that name would ring a bell. She looked anxious and full of energy and decided that her name was enough and started peeking around the apartment, looking for something that’s not going to be there. 

“What are you doing?” Kurt snapped, but it didn’t do anything to make her stop walking straight to Rachel’s room and opening the door. He decided that that was definitely not okay and he grabbed walked right towards her and grabbed her by the arm. “You can’t do that.”

“Where is Rachel?” She asked again. Then, didn’t wait for an answer before picking up her phone and dialing a number. She tapped her foot as she waited for the other person to pick up. She gave a groan of frustration when no one did, but she waited for the voice mail to go on. “Blaine, I’m really worried about you and no one at work knows what’s going on. You just disappeared. I have none of your friend’s numbers so it would be  _ really _ nice if you answered and explained yourself.”

“Blaine?” Kurt practically squeaked. How did this 19 year old girl know Blaine?

“Why do you think I’m here?” she rolled her eyes at him. Then, Cady took it upon herself to plop down on his couch and sighed dramatically enough to win a Tony. “When he didn’t show up for my vocal lesson last night I knew something was up but then he didn’t show up for work today. I asked if any of them knew what was going on and they said he hadn’t been showing up. They are going to  _ fire _ him.”

Kurt was listening to all of this, obviously, but it still didn’t explain how or why she was in his apartment. “How do you know where I live?”

“Rachel is pretty much Blaine’s only friend in the city, other than me, and I’ve walked her here once or twice because my apartment’s a few streets down,” Cady explained. “I thought maybe she would know where he is. Any chance you do? I know you haven’t talked to him in years-”

“How do you know that?” Kurt asked, feeling suddenly defensive. A girl he’s never met before should not know anything about his life.

She looked taken aback for a second. “I am so sorry,” she apologized, a look of realization dawned her face. “I get super rambly when I’m nervous or worried and-”

Kurt closed his eyes in attempt to keep his cool. “How do you know that?”

“Blaine’s my friend,” she replied calmly. Then, “he talks about you sometimes.”

“Oh,” Kurt swallowed the lump that had grown in his throat. “I’ve been completely avoiding your questions. I’m sorry. Rachel is at rehearsals. Opening night is in 3 days. But I do know what happened to Blaine.”

She sat up a little straighter, clutching her phone in her lap. “Really? What? It’s not bad is it? Is he okay?” At that, her face fell. Her eyes flickered with something and Kurt immediately recognized that look. That fear that only comes when you’ve lost someone close to you.

“He got in a car accident,” he told her. Then, regretted starting with that. Cady looked sick as soon as he said that. “But he’s okay!” A sigh of relief. “By okay, I mean alive. He’s physically pretty good as well, managed to get away with a broken arm. But his head- he lost 7 years worth of memories.”

The look of relief went away, and she deflated. “He doesn’t remember me,” she choked out. “My only real friend in this goddamn city doesn’t remember me.” Kurt didn’t know what to say to her. He had not thought about this. He didn’t think how all the new people Blaine had met since moving here would be affected by this. Blaine probably didn’t think about it either. He didn’t remember them to let them know. “Kurt, he’s like a brother to me. I have to see him.”

“Cady, he’s not in New York,” he tried to keep his voice steady but it was hard. This wasn’t an easy topic for him either. “He went back to Ohio to be with his mom and regain some familiarity.”

“God, and no one told him to call work? Did the hospital not have his contact list?” She crossed her legs on the couch and put her head in her hands. Kurt tried to let the fact that she just put her feet on his couch with her shoes still on not bother him, but did the girl know no manners? “Wait. They probably contacted the other place he works at. Dammit.”

“Do you work at the restaurant or the theatre?” Kurt asked. He remembered her mentioning getting singing lessons, so he didn’t understand how she could work at either if she couldn’t already sing.

“The theatre,” she told him. “I do most of the weekend performances since I’m a college student. But during the summer I do full time there.”

“That’s how you met Blaine?” 

“That’s how I met Blaine,” she nodded her confirmation. “I moved to New York right after I graduated high school. The theatre was new and was looking to hire a dramaturg so I gave it a try because I needed money. It’s not cheap to live here, especially by yourself at 18 years old.”

“Why not just live in the dorms? Where do you go to school?” Kurt looked at her quizzically, knowing he wasn’t getting the full story.

“Pace,” she answered. “But I could only stay in the dorms for the school year. I had to get my own apartment if I wanted to live here all year round.” 

“Oh,” Kurt decided not to press. Everyone’s got their reason for getting out of their small town and nobody ever wants to tell that story, especially to an almost complete stranger. “Well, um, I can call Blaine for you. He will probably answer me.”

“You guys are talking again?” Cady asked, tilting her head.

“That’s one way to put it,” Kurt sighed. “Give me a minute.” He walked to his room where he had left his phone and picked it up before walking back out to the living room. 

As soon as he called him, Blaine picked up. “Hey, Kurt,” Blaine said as he answered.

“Hey,” Kurt responded and then glanced down at Cady, who looked mildly offended. Most likely because Blaine answered for him and not for her. “So, the hospital never told the theatre company you work with that you would be out. A very angry 19 year old came to my doorstep demanding to see you.”

“I don’t think I know any 19 year olds,” Blaine’s voice grew concerned. “Which is because I don’t remember anyone new that I’ve met in the past 7 years. God, I’m an idiot. And an asshole.”

“Why do you say that?” 

“Because I’ve gotten phone calls from multiple random people that I didn’t recognize the name of and I didn’t answer. No one left a voicemail until like...5 minutes ago. I hadn’t checked it yet. Don’t people just text these days?”

“The voicemail was left by the teenager in question,” Kurt explained. “Also, you’re not an asshole. You’re going through a hard time right now. You don’t have to answer to everyone.”

“I still owe people an explanation,” Kurt heard Blaine sigh through the phone. “So...who exactly is this 19 year old again?”

“She works with you in the theatre and is apparently really good friends with you,” he told him, once again glancing down at Cady, who was rubbing her hand up and down her legging-clad thigh nervously and looking up at him expectantly. “Would you mind talking to her...just to reassure her?”

“I guess that would be fine,” Blaine didn’t sound completely sure and Kurt couldn’t blame him. What were you supposed to say to some girl you don’t remember who thinks you are her best friend? Kurt handed his phone over to Cady, who eagerly put it up to her ear.

“Blaine?” her tone suggested that she didn’t completely trust that it was him, but only a few seconds later, her face flooded with relief. Kurt could not hear what Blaine was saying on the other line but it wasn’t hard to guess because the relief on Cady’s face vanished into something sadder. “I understand. Kurt told me what happened and I-I know this must be really hard for you. I’ll um, stop calling if that’s what you want.” A pause. Then, her face lit up. “Really? When will you be back?” She waited for his answer and Kurt wished he could hear what Blaine was saying. “Okay, well, I can’t wait to see you again! And I hope you feel better and all that. Want me to put Kurt back on?” She nodded her head at whatever Blaine said in response and then she handed Kurt the phone. 

“Hello?” Kurt said once the phone was back to his ear.

“That was weird,” Blaine replied and Kurt could practically see Blaine scrunching his nose. “I told her I would like to get to know her again once I came back to New York. But I don’t even know when that’s going to be and now I feel bad about all the other friendships that I left there.”

“It’s not your fault,” Kurt assured him. “And according to her, you only have like 2 friends here anyway.”

“I said pretty much!” Cady shouted so Blaine could hear. “You have more than that!” 

Blaine laughed and shouted back, “thanks!” and Kurt had to move the phone away from his ear so the shout didn’t burst his eardrum. Cady grinned at Kurt.

“Maybe you can call me later?” Kurt suggested even though he was actually dreading talking to Blaine because it always wound up turning into a serious conversation he didn’t want to have. “I still have to deal with this teenager situation.”

“I’ll be twenty soon enough,” Cady interrupted again. Kurt just rolled his eyes at her.

“Okay,” Blaine agreed. “I’m helping Sam out with glee until like 6. I’ll call you sometime after.” Blaine hung up, once again leaving Kurt to deal with this mysterious new friend of Blaine’s. Except she wasn’t exactly a new friend of Blaine’s if they’ve been friends for over a year.

“Do you want me to walk you to your apartment?” Kurt asked, ready to get this girl out so he can have some peace and quiet once again. 

“I can walk myself home,” she stood up from her spot on the couch. Kurt finally had the chance to really look at her, she had to be shorter than Rachel but he couldn’t exactly tell because Rachel wore a lot of heels these days. She wore black boots that reached right below her knees and wore leggings that were three years out of style. She was in a t-shirt that said “I solemnly swear I am up to no good” which was a very clear Harry Potter reference and a grey zip up hoodie. Kurt could always tell a lot about a person by their choices in fashion and he could tell that she did not dress to impress. “Would it be too much if I asked for your number? I’d like to be updated on Blaine.”

“No, you can have my number,” he agreed and put his hand out so she could give him her phone. She tapped at her screen for a few seconds before handing it over to him and he quickly put in his contact information before handing it back to her. 

“Um, thanks,” she smiled at him. “And uh, sorry for barging into your apartment like that. I was just worried.”

“Huh. I would have thought that was something you did frequently,” he cracked a smile. She didn’t seem like a terrible person. He probably would have done the same thing if he was in her situation. 

“Nope, I’m actually a much more logical thinker but when it comes to someone I love, that seems to get tossed out the window.”

“I get it,” Kurt said, and he really did. He wasn’t an impulsive person, he liked to analyze the situation ahead of him but sometimes there are situations in life where you just don’t have the time or the heart to be able to do that. “You know what? Why don’t you stay for dinner? I have no one to eat with tonight and it wouldn’t be fun to get chinese takeout by myself.”

“I don’t have any money on me,” she looked dejected. Kurt understood what being a college student was like, especially being a college student living in a New York apartment. It wasn’t cheap.

“It’s on me,” he promised her. He honestly really didn’t feel like eating alone tonight. He had friends in New York, of course, but they were all very busy friends with very busy lives. And he couldn’t exactly call up his high school friends to come have dinner with him, they were all over the place now. 

“Alright, I guess I’ll stay. I do love me some chinese food,” Cady sat back down on the couch and Kurt sat in the chair that was next to it, pulling up the app that lets him order online. He knew he was treading in dangerous territory with having Cady here, he could learn so much more about Blaine’s life through her that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. He made Rachel swear off all things Blaine a long time ago and she always respected that but Cady never promised anything. He couldn’t help but at least be a little interested now that Blaine is temporarily back in his life until he gets his memory back. He knows how to handle this Blaine, this is a Blaine he knew. But what will happen when Blaine gets his memories back? What better way to learn how to handle the person Blaine is now by talking to Blaine’s newest best friend? 

* * *

Blaine was nervous about talking to Kurt again. Kurt finally seemed a little more open with talking to him and that felt really good, but what did it mean? He spent hours the night before feeling sick to his stomach with the dawning realization that Kurt doesn’t love him anymore and they might never get back together. That probably still is true but now Kurt wanted to talk to him again and maybe be friends with him again.

Friends was good. Friends was a step towards the right direction. But Blaine didn’t think he could handle being just friends with Kurt, not with how he felt. He could barely be in the same room with Kurt without feeling like he was going to burst because he couldn’t touch him. And now...now his stress was through the roof with the added fact that he still has a life in New York that he pushed aside so he could be in Lima. A life that he can’t just throw away because there are people that care about him there. He apparently had a best friend that he didn’t even know the name of. What kind of person was he if he just threw that away so he could be more comfortable in Lima?

He pushed his thoughts away and focused back to watching the glee kids perform on stage, Sam was doing such a good job with them and he was deeply impressed. After moping around yesterday, he called Sam and said that he would try to come watch again and this time he actually made it into the choir room without panicking. They were performing a song that Blaine had never heard before, which he found was common now since he can’t remember any song since 2012. It was a show tune which wasn’t odd for New Directions, one of the girls was being featured while the rest of the members danced and hummed around her. Blaine was impressed by the power and emotion in her voice and it reminded him of Rachel. 

He closed his eyes as the final verse in the song played out. 

“ _ She is messy but she’s kind _

_ She is lonely most of the time _

_ She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie _

_ She is gone but she used to be mine.” _

Blaine usually doesn’t get emotional while watching other people perform, but he couldn’t help the tear that trickled down his face. The performance was so well done and the song was so beautiful and he was so proud of Sam for putting all of this together.

He opened his eyes and saw Sam beaming at his group of students. “That was beautiful guys! I am so proud of all of you. Stacey, you were amazing. You’re all dismissed. If you want, meet me at Breadstix in 20 minutes because I’m treating you all to dinner because that was one of the best performances I’ve seen from you guys.” The students all whooped and cheered and hugged each other and Blaine wished he could have that again. Have that sense of community with his fellow students and he thought he did, until he woke up with 7 years of his memory missing. 

Sam walked up to Blaine, grabbed his hand and pulled him out of his seat. “How was it?” Sam asked him.

“That was beautiful, Sam. You are really doing amazing things with those kids. That performance belonged on broadway,” Blaine clapped his best friend on the shoulder, but then decided to pull him in for a hug. “I’m so proud that you pulled all that together.”

“Thanks, man, that means a lot to me,” Sam pulled away from Blaine. “And it was on broadway.”

“I know the  _ song _ was,” Blaine laughed. “What is it from, by the way? I’m going to have to look into this musical. The song is beautiful.”

“ _ Waitress _ ,” Sam informed him. “It’s called ‘She Used to Be Mine.’ It was actually written by Sara Bareilles. Rachel saw it a few years ago...with you, actually. You two didn’t stop talking about it for like two weeks straight.”

“I wish I could remember,” Blaine shrugged his shoulders. This was just another thing he had to deal with. 

Sam looked at him sympathetically. “It’s okay, it’s just a musical.” Rachel would have probably punched Sam for saying that but Blaine knew he was just trying to make him feel better.

“Thank you for letting me watch,” Blaine smiled at him. “But um, I actually have a phone call to make. So, I’m gonna run.”

“A phone call to who?” Sam asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Kurt,” Blaine admitted.

Sam nodded his understanding. “Just...be careful,” Sam said. “I know you love him but I don’t want you hurting anymore than you already are.”

“I’ll be fine,” Blaine assured him. “Thanks, Sam.”

“No problem, I’ll text you later,” Sam promised him. Then, Blaine walked out of the auditorium and out of the school. He had driven his mom’s car to McKinley since he didn’t have one here anymore and he didn’t want to bother Sam to pick him up. He drove back to his house and said a quick hello to his mom before going upstairs to call Kurt. 

“Blaine! Hi!” Kurt said upon answering, he seemed to be in a better mood than he was earlier. “How are you?”

“I’m okay,” Blaine told him. “Actually, I just got back from watching the New Directions perform. They are so amazing, Kurt. You wouldn’t believe how incredible it was to watch them on stage. They made me cry.”

“I go to Nationals every year, I know,” Kurt chuckled. “Sam is a magic worker.” 

“He really is,” Blaine agreed. “I mean, the New Directions were always amazing, especially when you were in it, but now they are all so...professional.” Kurt didn’t respond right away and then Blaine realized what he said. He totally just flirted with Kurt without meaning to. He couldn’t help it, he still loved Kurt and when you love someone, you tend to praise them.

“I miss it,” Kurt finally said. Blaine almost sighed in relief that Kurt didn’t call him out. He didn’t want to ruin their conversation before it even started. He really needed to start watching what he was saying. “New Directions, I mean. I don’t miss the drama, of course. But we were all so close back then and I haven’t seen so many of them in years. God, the last time I saw Quinn was four years ago. Puck I only see because he visits my dad sometimes-”

“Where’s Finn?” Blaine asked. He knew Finn had left for the military but now that was so long ago, he didn’t see why he wouldn’t continue to stay in contact with his brother. He thought it was strange no one had mentioned him since he woke up. Blaine heard a choking sound come from the opposite line. “Kurt?”

“Nobody told you?” Kurt gasped into the phone. “You were in Mckinley, you didn’t see the plaque?” 

“The plaque?” Blaine shook his head, confused. What was Kurt talking about?

“Blaine,” Kurt’s voice cracked. “Finn passed away six years ago.”

Blaine didn’t remember it happening, but somehow in the shock of hearing that, he had dropped his phone. He could hear a muffled voice coming from it but all the sudden he felt very sick and he rushed to the bathroom, hurling up all that he had eaten from that day. He heard someone open his door but he didn’t pay attention because now he had a searing pain in his head as memories flashed in his mind. 

There was a phone call, the same disbelief he was feeling right now. A funeral. Holding Kurt as he sobbed in his arms. The memorial at McKinley. Clutching onto Kurt’s hand as they watched alumni of New Directions sing songs in memorial of Finn.

Blaine wasn’t as close to Finn as the rest of his friends, but he was still important to him. And he was Kurt’s brother. Kurt already lost his mom, how could the universe tear his sibling from him too?

He snapped out of the flood of memories rushing in him and became aware of his mom’s arms around him, rocking him softly. She was on the phone, he realized, talking to Kurt. Kurt must have called her after Blaine dropped his phone. “I’m okay,” Blaine sniffled, wiggling away from his mom. 

“Hear that, Kurt?” Pam said into the phone. “Okay, I’ll put him on.” She handed the phone to Blaine.

“Sorry,” Blaine mumbled when he put the phone to his ear. “I just- hearing that triggered some memories.”

“I should have told you that in person,” Kurt sounded like he had been crying. Blaine wished he could hold him again, it would make this hurt less. “Or at least someone should have told you well before now so you wouldn’t accidentally find out yourself by seeing the plaque at McKinley.”

“It’s okay, nobody probably even thought to tell me about it,” Blaine wasn’t offended nobody told him, especially if it was that long ago. He was just upset that Finn got taken away from this world way too young. 

“That doesn’t make it okay. I’m sorry you had to find out like this.”

“I’m sorry this happened to you.”

“Blaine, it happened to all of us,” Kurt said. “And it was a long time ago.”

“I’m going to go,” Blaine told him. Blaine just wanted to cry right now and he didn’t know how much Kurt would appreciate him doing that over the phone. “Thank you for talking to me and telling me. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Kurt replied and hung up the phone. Blaine looked up at his mom and handed her phone back to her. She just put it on the floor so she could wrap her arms around him again and he instantly started crying again.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” she whispered in his ear and started rubbing at his back. “You shouldn’t have to go through this again.”

He didn’t reply and just let his mom comfort him for what seemed like hours until his crying finally came to a stop. “I miss him,” he said after letting go of his mom.

“Kurt?” she asked. He nodded. “I know, honey. But you can’t keep coming back and forth. I love you but if you want to go back to New York, you have to stay there.”

“I don’t know if that’s what I want.” He didn’t care about the city, he just wanted Kurt. 

“Think about it, okay?” She waited for his nod before she stood up and reached her hand out to help him stand up. He grabbed it and pushed himself off of the floor. “I’m going to go make you some dinner. I’ll bring it up here for you. I love you.” She kissed his cheek and walked out of his bathroom and out of the bedroom.

He walked back into his bedroom and picked up his phone from the floor and put in on his nightstand. He crawled back under his covers where he seemed to be spending most of his time lately. He still felt devastated from finding out the news about Finn but some of his memories were back now and even though they were sad memories, getting them back was good news. His memories were slowly coming back. He was going to remember his life again. But he didn’t know how much he wanted to remember a life where Kurt wasn’t in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blast from the...present? y'all probably didn't think how everyone in blaine's present life would be affected by this. neither did blaine. or any of blaine's friends. this chapter had so much going on tho wtf did i even write lmao. my irl life is a mess and i think im emanating that through blaine. sorry blaine. anyway, i hope you liked this chapter and feeback is always appreciated!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all again for the positive feedback!! i hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Blaine decided to go back to New York. He apologized profusely to his mom and to Sam because he wasn’t just going back to New York, he was leaving them too. Quite honestly, he was terrified. Lima was safe, but at the same time it wasn’t. Lima was filled with old memories that still felt new to him, but memories that nonetheless were painful to think about now that some people in his life were gone. Mainly Kurt. Which is why New York was also terrifying. Kurt was there. Kurt, who was trying to be more open with him, who was trying to be his friend. Kurt who didn’t want to be with him anymore. Kurt who thought that he didn’t love him anymore.

Obviously, Kurt wasn’t the only reason New York was so terrifying to him. He had a life. A whole life that he had forgotten about. He had a job and friends who he is going to have to get to know again. He had an apartment that he would have to relearn to navigate and a bed he would have to learn to get comfortable in. This would be so much easier if he could just get his goddamn memories back. But Blaine knew it wasn’t that simple.

He made it back the day before Rachel’s opening night on broadway. He explained to her previously that he didn’t think he’d be able to make it because he wanted to be in Lima to try to be more comfortable. She was upset, but she understood. Now he was really glad he decided to come back because Rachel was still his friend and he’d hate himself if that was something he missed. 

Blaine thought the best way to get reaquainted with New York, was to re-acquaint himself with apparently his closest friend in New York. Kurt had told him about his supposed new best friend showing up to Kurt’s apartment and he was honestly very interested in learning more about her, if not a little guilty for not knowing who she is. Blaine had texted her and asked her if she wanted to come over for dinner and she barely took a second before she agreed.

It was around 5:00 when he heard a knock on his door and he opened it up, revealing the girl who Kurt had told him about. He did not mention how short she was though, and Blaine had to actually look down to her. It didn’t happen a lot considering how short  _ he _ was. “Blaine!” she exclaimed, beaming up at him. “May I come in?”

“Um, sure,” he replied, smiling at her. He moved out of the way so she could walk into his apartment. He shut the door behind her and then turned to see that she’s barely moved 5 feet away from the door and looked kind of nervous. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she strained a smile at him. “This is just...weird.”

“You have no idea,” he agreed. Seeing someone you never met get that excited to see you is a little more than weird. Losing seven years worth of your memories is even weirder. “Why don’t you sit?” 

She nodded and walked to his couch, sitting down and he followed. “Just so you know I ordered us a large pizza with pepperoni, sausage and bacon and cheese stuffed crust. You missed our cheat day so we have to make up for it now.”

Blaine laughed. “Our cheat day?”

“When I moved to New York, you encouraged me to start eating healthier and I agreed as long as I could have one cheat day a week,” Cady explained. “You said you already had a cheat day so we accommodated and started having our cheat days together, always after my vocal lesson.”

Blaine didn’t know how, but that triggered a memory. A memory that had nothing to do with Cady, but a memory that had to do with himself and with Kurt. He remembered living in an apartment, different from the one he had now, struggling to fit in his clothes. He was constantly eating junk food and he hated how he felt about himself and Kurt didn’t seem to notice. Until Blaine brought it up and he got into a fight with Kurt and Kurt told him that he would  _ never  _ stop loving him and god, he wished it was true. 

“Blaine?” a voice broke him out of the episode and he looked up to see Cady looking at him with a worried expression on her face. “Are you okay?”

He hadn’t realized there was tears dripping down his face and did he seriously just cry in front of someone he doesn’t know?  _ Except you do know her. She’s been your best friend for two years. _ “I just remembered something,” he told her honestly. Why hide something from someone who probably already knows everything about you?

Something flickered in her eyes that he couldn’t read. He was too much of a mess right now. “What did you remember?”

“I...it must have been years ago,” he shrugged. “While I was in NYADA. The stress of the city was getting to me and I started eating like crazy, really unhealthy food and I gained a lot of weight and-”

“I know the story,” she interrupted me, with a small smile. “You don’t have to tell me again if you don’t want to.” This was both unnerving and relieving. It was weird that she knew that already but he was grateful that he didn’t have to go through telling it again. It was also telling, if she knew something from so long ago, how close they were.

“Thank you,” he said appreciatively. “So...vocal lessons, huh? I teach you to sing?”

She looked a little embarrassed. “I kind of suck. I love acting. I’m good at it. I go to school for it, but I also  _ love  _ musicals and that’s what I want to do with my life. And to do musicals, you need to sing. You help me with that.”

Blaine couldn’t imagine having that much trouble with singing, he didn’t mean to sound conceited, but he knew he had a good voice. He’s had it since he was young and it wasn’t something he was taught, it was something he grew into. He was happy that his now-self was helping a friend get better at it, though. The world could always use some more good singing. 

“You don’t go to NYADA, do you?” he asked. He doubted it, NYADA was known for it’s musical theatre department. Obviously there was more majors but they literally only took 5 acting majors a year, you had to pretty much be a child star to get in. 

“Hell no,” she seemed to cringe at this accusation. “Sorry, I know you liked it there when you went but most of the people at NYADA are stuck up bitches. I go to Pace, Acting major with a creative writing minor. I didn’t have the grades for NYADA anyway. You pretty much had to be top of your class to be a finalist.”

Blaine was top of his class  _ and _ he was in 23 clubs  _ and  _ he was senior class president. It wasn’t hard for him to get into NYADA academically. He was a bit of an overachiever when it came to school. “What were your grades like in high school?”

“Average,” she shrugged. “Mostly A’s and B’s. A few C’s, primarily because I suck at math and didn’t do my homework. Also, my school didn’t have a billion clubs like yours did. We pretty much had none at all.”

“Seriously?” Blaine never heard of a school having no clubs.

“Clubs have to be run by a teacher and we didn’t have enough teachers as it is and the teachers didn’t get paid enough to want to babysit after school,” Cady explained. She had said she moved to New York, but it sounded like she was from an inner city school if teachers seriously weren’t getting paid enough. “My school was also really small.”

“Where are you from?” Blaine asked. She has yet to mention it and she must have not told Kurt either.

“Philadelphia,” she told him. That explained why it sounded like she went to an inner city school. “The district sucks. We had to raise a lot of our own money to be able to fund a lot of things. We barely could afford to fund sports, let alone a bunch of clubs.”

“No glee club?”

She laughed and shook her head. “No glee club,” she confirmed. “But, I actually went to an arts school. So, the vocal majors and the Chamber Singers were like our glee club.”

“I’m guessing you were not a vocal major?”

“Theatre major,” she answered. “As I said previously, I’m not the best of singers.”

He nodded his understanding and then his doorbell rang and Cady stood up, announcing she would get it since she had to sign. She opened the door, revealing a delivery person with a box of pizza and a 2 liter of mountain dew. He handed the paper for her to sign and she did, then handed it back to him and in return, he gave her the pizza and soda. She brought the pizza over to the coffee table and placed both the box and the soda on top of it. “I’ll go grab some plates and cups.” Blaine watched as she went into the kitchen, immediately knowing where everything was. She knew his apartment better than he did. 

She brought everything back to the living room and put them on the table, that plopped down on the floor. She motioned for him to sit on the floor too, and he did. “Just like we always do,” she told him, giving him a sad smile.

They ate their pizza in silence for awhile until Blaine broke it. “So,” he said after swallowing, “how come your school was so small if you came from such a big city?”

She sighed and put the cup she was holding down, turning a little to face Blaine more. “I didn’t come here to talk about me, you know,” she gave him a pointed look. “I’m here because my best friend got in a car accident and I want to make sure he’s okay.”

“I’m okay, really,” Blaine assured her. Except he wasn’t. “Plus, I want to know more about you. Since we’re best friends and everything.”

“You don’t need to know more about me because I am very confident that you’ll get your memories back and it won’t be a problem,” she said, face completely serious. Blaine wanted to roll his eyes at that but he refrained. Everyone seemed to have complete faith that he would get all of his memories back but he wasn’t so sure. He’s only had little snippets come back so far and he just wanted them all back. “I want you to tell me about Kurt.”

“What?” Blaine blinked, not quite expecting her to bring him up. 

“Once upon a time you told me he broke your heart,” she said. She looked concerned but he wasn’t completely sure what about. She obviously didn’t have a problem with Kurt himself, Kurt had told him that she was talking to him. “And now…”

“Now I don’t remember that ever happening,” Blaine finished for her. She nodded. “My mom says I never stopped loving him. Is that true?” Blaine couldn’t see why it wouldn’t be, but if anyone knew what was true or not in his life, it would be her.

Now she smiled at him. “God, even if you told me you didn’t I wouldn’t believe you,” she chuckled a little. “You hadn’t seen him in years and you still talked about him like he was the light of your life. You met me right after you broke up with Karofsky too.”

Blaine swallowed. He didn’t really want to talk about Karofsky. “I...did I love him too?”

“Not like you loved Kurt,” she answered simply.

“So why did I stay with him so long?” That was the question he really wanted to know that nobody seemed to be able to answer. Hopefully Cady could.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. For a second, Blaine thought that was all she was going to say but she went on. “I think he made you feel safe. I think he was a clutch for you, more so in the beginning of the relationship. But then...I think you felt guilty. You didn’t want to break Dave’s heart like Kurt did to you.”

“Have you ever met him? Dave, I mean?”

“Once,” she told him. “You guys lived in New York together. When I said you met me right after you guys broke up, I meant literally right after. He left something in the apartment and had to come to pick it up. Me and you got close really quickly so I was already practically at your apartment everyday.”

“Was he respectful about it?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. Then, she took another bite of her pizza. “He introduced himself even though I already knew who he was. He definitely wasn’t the type of person I’d want to hang out with though. He’s all into sports and crap that I don’t care about.”

“ _ I’m  _ into sports,” Blaine reminded her. Not to the extent that other people were, but he still liked them. He wasn’t  _ that  _ stereotypical. Not that there was anything wrong with that.

“Sure,” she replied. “But you’re also into musical theatre and books and binge watching  _ Orange is the New Black _ .” 

“What’s that?”

“Oh my god,” she blinked at him. “You really have lost 7 years of memories. And that was 2012. Jesus Christ. I was 13.”

Blaine had almost forgot that she was 5 years younger than him. He felt like he was talking to someone his age, which made sense, considering he still felt like an 18 year old. “You know...all of this is still really hard for me to handle.”

“I know. I’m sorry. That was so long ago, it’s hard to put my brain in that headspace.”

“You don’t need to do that,” he told her. “I’m trying really hard to get my memories back. You talking to me like it’s still 2012 isn’t going to help that.”

“You’re right. You’re right,” she rubbed a hand across her face before looking up at him again. “Blaine, if I’m ever overstepping or making you uncomfortable please tell me. I know how you can be with trying to make everyone else comfortable, but you are important to. I can be really straightforward sometimes and there are situations when that’s not okay.”

“You aren’t making me uncomfortable,” he assured her with a smile. “This is all just really confusing. I mean, how would you react if you woke up with 7 years worth of memories missing?”

“I think I’d be very confused as to why I was in New York and also very confused as to where my family was,” she answered. She looked like she was seriously considering what it would be like if the roles were reversed. 

“Speaking of,” Blaine cleared his throat. He didn’t want to make this more awkward than it already was, but she seemed to be skirting around talking about her personal life and family. “Where are they? I mean, I know you’re from Philly but…”

She looked at him, something cold growing in her eyes. “My dad died in 2012, actually. Then, uh, my mom died in 2015. My sister got custody of me after.”

He never knew someone who had lost both their parents. It made him feel a little guilty for having both his parents alive and kicking. “I had no idea. I’m sorry,” he said because he didn’t know what else he could say.

She waved his apology away and shrugged. “You couldn’t have known,” she gave him a weak smile. “My sister took care of me until I was 17. I should have shown more gratitude but god, that city had so many bad memories. I left as soon as I saw the opportunity. Um, my sister hasn’t talked to me since. But that wouldn’t even be the hardest thing if I woke up as a 13 year old. I was obsessed with One Direction. I would be  _ so  _ upset that I wasn’t dating Niall Horan yet.”

Blaine choked on his pizza. “What?”

She started cracking up at Blaine’s expression. He didn’t mean to judge, he just didn’t peg her as one of  of the crazy fangirls that the band had. “Don’t worry,” she said, still a hint of laughter in her tone. “I haven’t liked them since 9th grade. Plus, they’re broken up now anyway.”

“Seriously?” he asked, eyes wide. One Direction was probably the most famous boyband  _ ever _ . He didn’t think they would ever break up. All those fangirls would riot.

“I know, right?” she shook her head. “I’m surprised that Kurt hasn’t caught you up on all the juicy celebrity gossip now that you’re talking again.”

“It’s not like that,” Blaine told her. “It’s complicated. He talks to me when he wants to talk to me but it usually winds up in an argument. I love him, I really do. But I’m starting to dread talking to him.”

“He can be a bit much,” she nodded. Blaine tilted his head, he knew they were talking but he didn’t know how much they were talking. “I hung out with him for a good hour after he got off the phone with you a few days ago. We started off talking about you but I tried not to overstep and eventually the conversation shifted into him talking about drama at work and what a pain it is to have Rachel Berry as a best friend.”

“Sounds like Kurt,” he laughed. “So, um...what did he say about me?”

“He asked how you’ve been the past few years,” she shrugged. “So I told him. I knew you wouldn’t appreciate me telling him that you were still completely in love with him, so I didn’t.”

“And um...do you think he still loves me?” The one question that’s been burning in his mind since he woke up. The one question that’s been keeping him up at night. The only question that truly mattered.

“I think that Kurt is very good at hiding his emotions,” she replied. “But I have also been studying theatre for the past 6 years and to do that, you learn a lot about character. You need to know how to read people. I’m no psychologist, but Kurt at the very least still cares about you. I could see it in the way he held his body when talking about you. I could hear the concern in his voice when talking about the accident. He cares, Blaine. I think that’s what matters.”

“I just want him back,” Blaine choked out. “I already know that he cares or he wouldn’t have shown at the hospital. I just really need him right now.”

“Hey,” she said softly, resting her hand over Blaine’s and squeezing it. “You know, my theatre teacher once told us to stop using the word just. She said it meant that we were unsure of ourselves. That we weren’t confident in what we were saying. So, do you really want him back? Or do you want the idea of him back?”

“Let me rephrase: I miss him like crazy. I don’t  _ just _ want him back. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want to watch him on Broadway, I want to wake up to him every morning and make him breakfast in bed. I want to cuddle up on Friday nights and watch  _ Moulin Rouge _ ,” he took a breath. That wasn’t even half of the things he wanted with Kurt. “And I do need him. My life is a mess right now and I just- I  _ mean _ , I want him in it.”

She grinned at him. “See how more sure of yourself you sound when you don’t use the word just? Good job on correcting yourself at the end of that spiel.” 

He couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face. He could see why they were best friends. She was so easy to talk to and always knew the right thing to say. “I bet you already knew all of that.”

“I did,” she confirmed, the smile still plastered on her face. “I just wanted to see that you were  _ really _ sure.”

“Are you convinced?”

“Very. And by the way, you don’t need to worry about getting Kurt back. With a winning charm like yours, he’ll be crawling back to you in no time.”

He sure hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise promise promise that the next chapter will have actual physical klaine interaction. i know, it's been awhile. but like i said, slow build my friends. also, personal life update so you can know when to expect your next actual update: this week is gonna be very hectic. i have my mock auditions on wednesday which means rehearsal until then. my sister's wedding is on saturday and i have lots of bridesmaids things to do on thursday and friday. but, after that, i have a little bit of freedom until november. so hopefully i can get a few updates in!! thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been awhile. Life has been crazy. Sorry it took me so long to update. I hope you enjoy this crazy long chapter.

It was time for Rachel’s opening night and Kurt was ecstatic, he got to see his beautiful best friend right where she belonged, singing on a broadway stage. Rachel was already at the theatre but Kurt stayed back so he could get ready and put the final touches on her dress for the after party. 

He was proud of it, it was fiery red and would fit Rachel perfectly and look beautiful on her and he was so happy that she had him do this for her. She could have any designer in the world, but she chose him. Even though this wasn’t the career he wanted, it still brought him so much joy. Fashion was always one of his favorite hobbies and he loved designing clothes for other people.

Once the dress was perfected, he hung it up and put on his own tailored suit and tie that he also designed himself. The suit was simple and black, but his tie matched Rachel’s dress. He slipped on his shoes and grabbed his keys and Rachel’s dress, and walked out the door, locking it behind him. 

Finding parking on or around Broadway was nearly impossible, but he found a spot about 3 blocks away. While he was walking towards the venue, he took out his phone and called Rachel. 

“Hello?” she answered. “Are you here?”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” he replied. “Do you want to come out and pick up your dress or do you want to tell someone that I can go to your dressing room and give it to you?”

“I’ll come out and pick it up and bring you in, the doors haven’t opened yet so I’d have to anyway,” she told him. “I can’t wait to see you! Love you!”

“Love you, too,” he smiled and hung up, now only a block away from the theatre. He briskly walked towards the theatre with the sign that said “ _ Jane Austen Sings  _ starring Rachel Berry.” His heart swelled up with pride at seeing her name. The doors didn’t open for an hour but there was already a long line outside the door. He walked past the line and as he got to the front, he saw the door open and Rachel’s head peek out. She grinned when she saw him and she waved him over, he quickly walked towards her and the crowd cheered when they noticed her. She waved at them but then quickly grabbed Kurt’s arm, pulling him into the theatre. 

The walls were painted blue and red and on the left wall, there was the covers of almost every book Jane Austen had ever written. He didn’t have time to admire any of them though because Rachel was quickly pulling him away and towards her dressing room. 

“Let me see!” she squealed when she shut the door. Kurt spotted a clothing rack and he hung up the dress for Rachel to look at. “Oh, it’s beautiful, Kurt,” her face softened and her eyes rimmed with tears. “Thank you so much.” 

“Anything for my star,” he chuckled and then spread his arms out and she walked into them. He squeezed her tight, letting him have this final moment before she blew up, before she got the fame and recognition she deserved. “I’m so, so proud of you, Rach. I can’t wait to see you on that stage.”

“Thank you, Kurt,” she stood on her toes to kiss his cheek and then let go of him. “And you are going to kill it in your callback in two days. Great things are upon us, my friend.”

He smiled at her. “Alright, I’m going to go claim my seat. Break a leg out there, darling,” he squeezed her hand and walked out of her dressing room and towards the theatre. 

Once he got there, he was stopped and asked to show his ticket, so he did. They scanned it and nodded for him to go in, he walked down the front row and saw that Rachel must have let other people in as well because there was already about ten people who showed up.

They all stood up when they saw Kurt, eager to greet him. He scanned the line of people, seeing who all showed up. Quinn and Puck, who he hadn’t seen in years were there and he immediately went into their arms first. It had been too long. 

“How are you guys?” he asked after he was done hugging them. Quinn and Puck had been in an on and off relationship since high school and he wasn’t sure where they standed. Quinn graduated from Yale a few years ago and the last time he talked to him, Puck was still in the military. 

“We’re together, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Quinn said, answering the question he was going to inevitably ask. 

“Good to know. Catch up later?” he suggested, knowing he still had more people to say hello to.

“Absolutely,” she gave him a polite smile and sat back down, along with Puck. 

Next was Rachel’s dads, whom he was slightly surprised to see sitting next to each other but he was happy to see them civil. He hugged both of them, saying he was happy to see them, and they reciprocated. 

Mr. Schuester was sitting next to her dads and he looked elated to see Kurt, throwing his arms around him and squeezing him tight. “Long time, no see, kiddo.”

“I know, I need to come to Lima more,” he moved out of his arms but kept a hand on his shoulder. “Life in New York gets hectic.” 

“Tell me that when you have a wife and three kids,” he laughed. 

“Speaking of, where’s Emma?” Kurt quirked an eyebrow at him, Will and Emma were always almost attached at the hip, he was surprised to not see her here with him. 

“All of the kids got the flu at the  _ same time _ ,” Will looked bewildered, like he couldn’t understand how so many people could be sick simultaneously. “She had to stay home and take care of them.”

“Yikes. Sorry about that,” Kurt shook his head sympathetically and moved on. Sam, Mercedes and Tina were there, whom he only saw a few weeks ago so he just quickly hugged the three of them. 

Then, he almost walked right into Blaine’s arms without realizing it was him. He had been blindly hugging people that he didn’t even realize Blaine had been there yet. “Oh!” Kurt gasped. “Hey, Blaine.” He recognized that it was rude of him to hug everyone else and then not hug Blaine as well, so he awkwardly moved towards him and wrapped his arms around him, but quickly let go. 

“Where are you sitting?” Blaine inquires, glancing down at the ticket Kurt was holding in his hand. Kurt looked at his ticket to see the seat assignment.

“Right…” his eyes scanned the seats, but there wasn’t much to scan. “Next to you.” Of course, out of all the goddamn seats in the theatre, he had to be seated next to Blaine. He was highly suspicious this was Rachel’s doing. 

“Oh,” Blaine looked unphased, but Kurt couldn’t help but notice the pleased smile that Blaine was failing to hold back. Kurt held in a sigh and sat down next to Blaine. He pulled out his phone to check the time, the show started at 8, which meant the doors would open in about 5 minutes. “Are you excited to see Rachel perform?”

“I have been excited about this since Jesse got the directing job, and I was proud beyond words when Rachel got the part. She’s worked hard to rebuild her reputation and her career and she deserves this more than anything,” Kurt was beaming with excitement. Right now, the situation with Blaine didn’t matter, what mattered was that his best friend was about to have her second broadway debut. 

“Nobody ever really explained to me why Rachel had such a tough time getting back on broadway,” Blaine pointed out as people started piling into the theatre. 

“Not long after we moved to New York,  _ Funny Girl _ was being revived and had an opening casting call, so she obviously auditioned because Fanny is her dream role, and she got the part,” Kurt told him. 

“What? That’s amazing!” Blaine exclaimed. “How did she ruin that?” 

“Because someone offered her a TV show,” Kurt answered. “Like a literal TV show about her  _ life _ . The pilot bombed so bad that it practically ruined her career. She went into hiding for a little while, but nothing stops Rachel Berry. She started NYADA again and got her career back on track and now here she is, back where she belongs.”

“That’s really great,” Blaine smiled softly at him. “I could never imagine Rachel anywhere else but on a stage.”

“Me either,” Kurt agreed. They sat in silence for awhile and about twenty minutes before the show started, Brittany and Santana showed up. Brittany squealed at the sight of Blaine and forced him to get up and hug her.

Santana, on the other hand, was completely focused on the fact that Kurt and Blaine were sitting next to each other, her eyes flickering between the two seats. “You two are talking again?” 

“Santana,” Kurt hissed, pulling her to the side while Blaine and Brittany talked. “You know what happened, right? He lost seven years of memories, I wasn’t going to ignore him when something like that happened.”

“Oh, so you think you’re being noble?” Santana raised an eyebrow at him. “Because that’s fucked up, Kurt. You can’t just crawl back into his life because something bad happened.” 

“I’m  _ not _ ,” Kurt argued. “I tried to explain the situation to him but he didn’t stop calling me. I couldn’t ignore him, that would be fucked up. Look, can we please not talk about this right now? It’s Rachel’s opening night.”

“Whatever, Hummel. I still want an explanation,” Santana said after rolling her eyes. Brittany came over and kissed Kurt on the cheek before sitting down on the seat next to Kurt.

“What was that about?” Blaine whispered into Kurt’s ear, referencing to Kurt and Santana’s argument.

“It’s nothing,” Kurt waved him off, he really didn’t need to bother Blaine with this considering it hadn’t been Santana’s business anyway. Suddenly, a jingle began to play in the theatre, Rachel’s voice telling everyone to shut off their phones before the show and that no one is allowed to take pictures of videos. 

Moments later, the lights began to dim and music began to play and the curtains opened and there she was, smiling bright at her audience, the next queen of broadway: Rachel Barbra Berry.

* * *

 

Blaine was in awe. Rachel was amazing before but now… she was indescribable. The power she radiated off the stage was incredible and her voice brought him to tears. If Rachel was this good now, he couldn’t imagine how much Kurt has improved. They both had an education at NYADA and it must have done them wonders. 

After the show, they were ushered backstage to congratulate Rachel. She was already in her after party dress that Kurt had made and she looked stunningly beautiful. He was never as close with Rachel as Kurt was, but he was still incredibly proud of his friend. 

Everyone was hugging and crying and then Jesse walked through the door and walked straight to Rachel, picking her up and kissing her. Everyone cringed a little at first but dissolved into happy laughter because nothing good break this amazing feeling. 

“Who’s ready to party?!” Rachel shouted after Jesse had put her down. Everyone in the room shouted their agreement and then followed Rachel out the door and outside the theatre where a limo was waiting for them. 

Somehow, once again, he wound up sitting next to Kurt in the limo. Well, Sam too. But more importantly he was sitting next to Kurt. 

“Dude,” Sam said in his ear, “we’re totally getting you drunk tonight. You deserve it.”

“I’m not old enough-” Blaine had to stop himself because yes, he was old enough. He was  _ not _ 18 years old and he  _ was  _ 25\. It was still very hard to come to terms with that. It’s not like he never drank before he was the legal age, it’s just he was either in the confines of somebody’s home or he had a fake ID which he currently didn’t have. But he didn’t need it, he reminded himself.

“You are  _ so _ old enough!” Sam grinned at him. 

Kurt seemed to overhear the conversation and butted in. “Hey, isn’t the reason he got in an accident because he was drinking? Are you sure he should have alcohol?”

Sam’s face faltered. “I’m an idiot,” Sam put his face into his hands. “I didn’t even think about that. I’m sorry, man. We are totally not getting you drunk tonight.” 

“I think that should be my decision,” Blaine argued. He didn’t actually want to get drunk and Kurt was right about the accident, but he didn’t exactly remember the accident happening. He just wanted to choose and not have Sam and Kurt decide for him. 

Kurt and Sam didn’t get to respond though because the limo arrived at the club and everyone was getting ushered out and into the bar. There was music pumping so loud that Blaine could feel it in his bones and there was already around 50 people on the dance floor. Some people chose to go to dance first and others went right to the bar to order drinks. 

Blaine didn’t really know what to do, the only “club” he ever went to was Scandals and that shouldn’t have even counted as a club. Suddenly, someone threw an arm around his shoulders and he looked to the side and saw Sam grinning down at him. “Are you just going to stand there?” Blaine just blinked at him. He probably looked like a lost puppy right now. “C’mon!” Sam pulled him over to the dance floor and let go of him once he got there.

Sam was doing what he always did when he danced, just body rolling over and over again. Sam had drifted in the crowd so Blaine awkwardly danced by himself, just bouncing on the balls of the feet until the music took over and he let himself be lost it in. He loved dancing, no matter where he was or who he was with, he could still enjoy this. 

He didn’t know how long it had been when someone had tapped him on the shoulder, pulling him out of his trance. He whipped around to see who it was, but it wasn’t anyone he knew. It was a guy, a couple of years older than him (25 him, not 18 year old him) and a few inches taller than him, smiling down at him. “Hey!” the man shouted over the music. “You’re a really good dancer. Can I buy you a drink?”

“Um,” Blaine blinked up at him. Blaine’s watched a lot of movies and this only indicated that the other man was hitting on him. The last time he was hit on by someone other than his boyfriend- by  _ Kurt _ was when Sebastian kept on trying to get in his pants. He let out a shaky breath, not completely sure if he wanted to give in or not. He really wanted to get Kurt back but in all honesty, did Kurt want to get back with him? “Sure,” he finally decided. What’s the harm in exploring other options if Kurt is never going to come back to him? 

He walked with the other guy to the bar and hopped up on the bar stool. The bartender walked up to them and asked, “what can I get for you?”

“Two shots of vodka,” the man answered for them. The bartender nodded and went to get the glasses. “So, what’s your name?”

“Blaine,” he told him. “And yours?” 

“Rodney,” he said as the bartender came back with their drinks. Rodney slipped the bartender the money and the bartender graciously took it.

Blaine eyes the glass before hesitantly picking it up and pressing it to his lips, he then threw his head back and let the liquid slide down his throat. He immediately cringed. It was disgusting and burned his throat but soon after, he felt his body start to relax.

“Where you’d learn to dance like that?” Rodney asked him. 

“I’ve been dancing since I was a kid,” Blaine shrugged. “I love music, I majored in musical theatre in college.”

Rodney nodded and then raised his hand at the bartender, putting two fingers up. “A theatre boy, huh?”

“Yup,” Blaine said as another glass appeared in front of him. He didn’t think about it this time, he just took the glass and threw it back. He shivered as it went down. “You aren’t trying to get me drunk, are you?”

“Did you not come here to get drunk?”

“No,” Blaine shook his head. “It’s my friend’s opening night on broadway. We’re having the after party here”

“Seriously? What show?”

“ _ Jane Austen Sings. _ ”

“Your friends with  _ Rachel Berry _ ?” Rodney looked a little in awe.

“Yeah,” Blaine confirmed. “I went to high school with her.”

“Wow,” Rodney whistled. “That’s pretty awesome.” 

“It is,” he agreed. “Look, thank you for the drinks but I think I’m going to go find my friends. I didn’t mean to ditch them.”

“C’mon, have a few more shots with me first! I can say that I had shots with Rachel Berry’s best friend!” 

“I’m not her best friend!” Blaine giggled. He literally giggled. More drinks probably wasn’t a good idea. “My ex is her best friend.”

“Damn. He here?” 

“Yes.”

“Then, you definitely need a few more drinks!” Rodney called the bartender over again, slipped her a bill and told her to get them four more shots.

“This probably isn’t a good idea,” Blaine said outloud. 

“And why is that?”

“I’m a lightweight. I get drunk off one beer.” 

“Live a little!” Rodney shouted over the music. The bartender came back with the drinks and Blaine gave in anyway, taking the two shots. His entire body was on fire.

“All right, thank you!” Blaine shouted at Rodney. “I’m going to go find my friends!” Rodney tried to call out for him but Blaine went back to the dance floor, searching for one of his friends. His eyes landed on Tina, who was dancing with Mike Chang, whom he didn’t even realize was here. “Mike!”

“Hey, Blaine!” Mike said, slinging an arm around his shoulder. “How’ve you been?”

“Fantastic!” Blaine responded, squeezing onto his friend. “I feel great.”

“Was that sarcasm?” Mike asked, moving out of Blaine’s grip. “You did just get in a car accident a week ago.”

“What? That was soooo long ago.”

“Are you drunk?”

“I don’t know, Mikey, you tell me.” 

“Blaine!” Tina scolded. “What were you thinking? How much did you drink?” 

Blaine shrugged, not understanding what the big deal was. “Four shots.”

“Of  _ what _ ?”

“Vodka.”

“Oh my goodness. You’re an idiot. Do you not  _ learn _ ?” Tina looked like she wanted to slap him. “Someone should have been with you tonight. Where’s Sam? I’m going to dropkick him for leaving you.”

“I dunno,” Blaine squinted at Tina, trying to figure out why she was so angry.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Kurt’s voice rang through Blaine and he turned to look at him. Kurt’s face was full of concern and Blaine wanted to hug him. So he did. “Whoa.”

“Mikey and Tina say I’m drunk,” Blaine told him.

“Stop calling me Mikey,” Mike interrupted, clearly annoyed at Blaine’s pet name.

“I can see that,” Kurt said, pushing Blaine off of him. 

“I don’t know why you’re all worried,” Blaine gestured to the three of them. “M’fine.” 

“Blaine, the last time you drank you got in a car accident,” Tina brought up again. “You shouldn’t be drinking.”

“You guys shouldn’t have brought him here in the first place!” Mike scolded, glaring at Tina and Kurt. “Everyone seemed to forget about him anyway when right now he needs people more than ever!” 

Tina and Kurt stared at Mike, shocked at his outburst. “This is where Rachel wanted to come,” Tina spoke quietly. “She wasn’t going to not invite Blaine.” 

“And we weren’t all going to compromise having fun to make  _ him _ happy,” Kurt spat. Blaine was sober enough to understand his words, and he was sober enough for the words to hurt. Kurt’s face seemed to fall, but Blaine barely noticed. His ears were ringing and his head was pounding and he needed to get out. He turned around and started pushing his way out of the crowd. “Blaine, wait!”

He didn’t listen, he kept pushing and eventually found his way out of the crowd and out of the club. He sucked in a deep breath once he got outside and put his hands to his knees. Everything hurt and he just wanted to go home but he couldn’t remember his goddamn address, he might as well just get a cab to the airport and fly home to Ohio. 

“Blaine!” the same voice shouted again and  _ goddammit _ he just wanted to get away. He couldn’t stand to hear that voice anymore because it hurt so bad. The hand that was attached to the body that was attached to that voice as on his shoulder, trying to make him look at him and he couldn’t. He couldn’t look at him. “Blaine, I didn’t mean that.”

“I want to go home,” was all Blaine said. 

“Okay,” he nodded. “Okay. I’ll take you home. Is that okay?”

“I want to go home,” Blaine repeated.

Kurt stepped away from him to hail a cab. One pulled up and Kurt took Blaine’s arm and led him to the car, helping him into the backseat and then sliding in next to him. Kurt told the cab the address to Blaine’s apartment and the driver entered the address and began speeding away. 

Even though Blaine had wanted to get away from him, his head had somehow gravitated to Kurt’s shoulder and tears were leaking out of his eyes. He didn’t know why he was crying. He was crying so much these days. Everything still hurt, but Kurt’s hands running through his hair made it a little more bearable. He didn’t understand how someone who caused him to be in this state could make him feel better, but it worked. Kurt always did have really nice hands. 

They got to Blaine’s apartment building and took the elevator up. “Where are your keys?” Kurt asked. Blaine pulled his keys out of his pocket and handed them to Kurt, who opened the door for him and then helped him inside. Kurt walked him to his bedroom and had Blaine lie down. “I’m going to call Rachel.” Kurt took out his phone and pressed it to his ear. “Hey, I had to leave. I’m so, so sorry. I’ll make it up to you. There was an emergency with Blaine and I’m probably going to stay at his apartment tonight. Don’t be worried. He’s going to be okay.” 

“Am I?” Blaine whispered after Kurt hung up the phone.

“What?” Kurt asked, he put his phone down on Blaine’s dresser then walked to the side of his bed.

“Am I going to be okay?” Blaine asked. “I mean...with the accident and the memories and now  _ this _ -”

“Blaine, you’re going to get through this,” Kurt promised. “I’m going to help you get through this.”

“Even though you’re compromising your happiness to do it?” Blaine knew it was a low blow, but he was sick of feeling like a chore to Kurt, drunk or not.

“I did not mean that  _ at all _ ,” Kurt attempted to assure him. It didn’t work well. “I’m not compromising anything helping you. This is completely selfish.”

“Then why did you say it?”

“I don’t know.”

Blaine was too tired to argue. “You’re staying here?” 

“Someone has to bring you advil and water in the morning,” Kurt chuckled a little, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Will you stay in here?”

“Blaine…”

“ _ Please _ ,” Blaine begged. “I won’t...do anything. I just don’t want to be alone.”

“Okay,” Kurt conceded. “Can I borrow some pajamas?”

“They’re in the bottom right drawer,” Blaine pointed. “Can you grab me some too?”

“Yup,” Kurt agreed. He knelt down and opened the drawer, grabbing the first pair of pajama pants he saw and throwing them over to Blaine before taking one for himself and heading to the bathroom. 

Blaine fumbled with the buttons on his jacket, taking a whole two minutes before he could finally get it off. He threw it on the floor despite knowing Kurt would be mad if he saw it like that. The vest he had under it he couldn’t even get off because his hands kept slipping and eventually he gave up and lied back down on his bed, still fully clothed.

Kurt walked back in, in an undershirt and pajama pants that were way too short for him, his suit folded over his arms. “What are you doing still dressed?”

“I’m too drunk,” Blaine mumbled. Kurt rolled his eyes at that and then neatly put his suit over one of Blaine’s chairs.

“Do I seriously need to help you out of your clothes?” Kurt did not look thrilled at all about this idea.

“I can sleep in them,” Blaine said defensively. 

“No, it’s fine,” Kurt sighed. “Stand up.”

Blaine slowly got off his bed but kept one hand on it for support. Kurt walked up to him and then put his hands to his vest, hastily opening the buttons one by one and sliding it off of him. Blaine glanced down and saw that Kurt’s hands were shaking. Careful, poised Kurt... _ his _ hands were shaking. 

Kurt had to take off the long sleeve button up next and now Blaine could actually feel Kurt’s hands on him and he was pretty sure this is what dying felt like. He already felt like he was going to explode from the alcohol, and now he was going to dissolve over Kurt’s hands being on him and it was just through  _ fabric _ . 

Soon he was left in a white beater and Kurt took his hands off of him and Blaine felt cold at the loss of contact. Kurt glanced down at Blaine’s pants and then back up to his eyes, asking a silent question. “I can take off my own pants,” Blaine assured him. Kurt just nodded and then walked away from him, to the other side of the bed. Blaine unbuckled his pants and took them off, sliding the pajama pants on. He climbed back on his side of the bed and Kurt was already there. “Thank you, Kurt.”

“You’re welcome,” he answered and he was smiling at him. That beautiful, beautiful smile and Blaine felt his heart turn to jelly.

He knew if he looked at Kurt any longer he would kiss him and no matter how lowered his inhibitions were, he knew that wouldn’t be fair to Kurt or to himself. So, he turned over to face the other side of the bedroom and closed his eyes.

All he could think about before he fell asleep was how much he loved this man and how he didn’t understand how he had ever given him up. Why didn’t he fight harder for him? Why did he put a wedge between himself and something that made him feel so loved? Now, these questions are the only reason he wants his memories back, just so he can know-so he can understand why he made the choice to stop fighting. To give up, to stop fighting, it’s never been who he was. It’s not who he  _ is _ . He doesn’t need to be drunk to know that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning: this note is going to be long.   
> I intended this to be a happy chapter. I really did. Unfortunately, I'm not good at keeping things happy. I promise it will get happier though, but sometimes things need to hit rock bottom before that can happen. I'm also simultaneously a masochist and a sadist, so I love torturing my characters even though it tortures me.   
> Life update time: I got accepted into my #1 college! Which means I am hopefully moving to New York in freaking 10 months and that's crazy. However, I still need to get into the acting program which my audition for is next weekend which is also pretty crazy. I can still go to the school if I don't get into the acting program though. So, either way, I'm probably moving to Manhattan. What is my life.   
> Which gets onto my next point: I thought I was going to have free time to write after my last update, I was wrong. So I'm not going to give you any false hope this time- I'm probably not going to be able to update until winter break. I am going to be in New York the entire weekend next week. Then, it's Thanksgiving break which I'm probably going to be spending with family. Then, my ass is going to be stuck in senior play rehearsal until December 9th. I love theatre. But after senior play, my life will hopefully get less hectic. Who knows. 
> 
> Also, in regards to the election that just happened- I just want all of you to know that I think you're all awesome and I know there's probably plenty of you that have been directly targeted by this man and this is in no means okay. For the past week, I have been fighting and I will continue for the next four years. This is something that I am very angry about and I know most of you are too, so I urge you to keep fighting as well but I also urge you to find solidarity in the things that make you happy. Whether it's Klaine, or music, or friends, or theatre, or whatever else brings you joy, hold onto those things. I love you guys.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this is a little on the shorter side, but I wanted to give you something after not posting for a while. Enjoy!

Blaine woke up with his head pounding against his skull. He groaned, pushing the bottom of his palms into his forehead in hopes of relief. It didn’t do much. He sighed and opened his eyes, the smell of pancakes filling his nose. He was confused for a second but then he took a minute to gather his memories.

Kurt slept over the night before. Though he wished the thought brought him some semblance of happiness- it just brought him sadness and guilt. Kurt wasn’t here because he _wants_ to be here. Kurt was just unfortunate enough to be the one who had to take him home last night because he was an idiot and let a random guy get him drunk.

Blaine took a deep breath, letting the air fill his lungs and he swung his legs over his bed and got up. He walked out of his bedroom and into the kitchen, where Kurt was working furiously at his stove. “You didn’t have to make me breakfast,” Blaine said upon arrival.

Kurt jumped at his words a little, almost burning himself in the process. Kurt put the spatula he was holding down on the counter and turned off the stove. “I didn’t hear you come in,” he said and turned to Blaine.

“Sorry,” Blaine shrugged, shuffling to one of the chairs at the kitchen table and sitting down.

“It’s okay,” Kurt smiled. “You know I love to cook.”

Blaine smiled back. “I know.”

“How’s your head?” Kurt asked, nodding to him.

“It feels like there’s a little person inside of me constantly punching my head,” Blaine answered, rubbing his temples.

“I figured as much,” Kurt said, then walked to the fridge and got out a water bottle, handing it to Blaine. Blaine hadn’t noticed at first, but there was already a bottle of advil on the counter. Kurt grabbed that too and handed it to him. “Take two of those and hopefully you’ll feel better.”

“Thank you, Kurt. You didn’t have to do this for me,” Blaine couldn’t help the fond look that was growing on his face. Kurt was here, and Blaine was in love with him, and he was never very good at hiding it.

“I told you last night, I’m being selfish. I _want_ to help you,” Kurt said sincerely.

“There is not a selfish bone in your body, Kurt Hummel,” Blaine said before attempting to open the bottle of advil that Kurt gave him. Unfortunately, his right arm was still casted and it made it a little difficult. “Can you, uh…?”

“Yeah,” he chuckled a little and opened both the bottle of advil and bottle of water for Blaine. He awkwardly took Blaine’s free hand and placed the capsules in it. Blaine refrained from shivering at the contact. Blaine popped the pills in his mouth and washed them down with his water.

“Do you want me to make you some coffee?” Kurt asked, turning back to the stove. “These pancakes are finished.”

“I would like some coffee, actually. Thank you,” Blaine replied. He wanted to help Kurt or do _something_ but he knew he wouldn’t be of much help if he tried.

“As you wish,” Kurt said while scooping up some pancakes and putting them on a plate before giving them to Blaine.

Blaine grinned at him. “Did you just quote _The Princess Bride?_ ”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kurt deadpanned, though Blaine could see a tint of a smile on Kurt’s face right before he spun around to Blaine’s Keurig machine.

“I thought you hated that movie,” Blaine pointed out, taking a bite of his pancakes.

“Only because you insisted on watching it _every single day_.”

“I did not!”

“You’re right,” Kurt said, placing a cup of coffee in front of Blaine. “You insisted on watching it every four hours. While drooling over Westley right in front of me!”

“I can’t help it. He was one of my very first crushes,” Blaine argued, laughing “He’s so pretty.”

“Well, you were supposed to think _I_ was prettier,” Kurt teased, bringing his own plate of pancakes and cup of coffee to the table.

“Oh, I do,” Blaine assured him. Kurt’s cheeks seemed to turn pink, and Blaine couldn’t help but feel a little smug that he did that.

That’s when he realized that they were flirting. Kurt was _flirting_ with him. Kurt probably didn’t even realize he was doing it, but Blaine did and Blaine never thought in a million years that he would ever get Kurt back to this point. It made him ecstatic.

“So,” Kurt cleared his throat. “I think we should talk about last night.”

Well, that ruined Blaine’s mood in a split second. He had hoped Kurt would continue with the banter and avoid any serious conversations for a while, but it seems Kurt Hummel was incapable of that lately.

“Can we just… eat first, please?” Blaine asked, not wanting to have a discussion at the moment.

“I guess,” Kurt shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee.

They ate their food in silence and once they were both done, Kurt stood up and took their dishes to the sink. He quickly washed and dried them, putting the dishes back where they belonged.

“Thanks, again,” Blaine said when Kurt returned to his seat.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Kurt said. “Now, onto that talk. I’ll just cut to the chase. Why did you drink so much last night?”

“I didn’t drink _that_ much,” Blaine countered.

“Don’t get defensive,” Kurt said pointedly. “Even in your 18 year old brain, you know your limits. You also know that alcohol has gotten you in trouble before, so why did you drink at all knowing you lost your memories because of it?”

“Some guy offered to buy me a drink,” Blaine admitted. “And it felt rude of me to turn him down. And he was hitting on me...and I was feeling a little lonely…”

“Blaine!” Kurt scolded. “Why would you drink with him? He could have roofied you! You know better than this.”

“I’m not an idiot, Kurt. I didn’t let him touch my drink,” Blaine assured him. “And it doesn’t matter. I didn’t give into his flirtations.”

“You still could have gotten hurt,” Kurt said seriously. Then added, “again.”

“But I didn’t. I appreciate your concern, Kurt. But I don’t know where it’s coming from. Or why you care at all if you haven’t been around in three years,” Blaine didn’t want to say it, but it’s been weighing on him since it all started. Why was Kurt here if he claimed he didn’t want to be with Blaine anymore?

“Don’t make this about me,” Kurt warned.

“It _is_ about you though, Kurt!” Blaine exclaimed. “The only reason I touched the alcohol in the first place is because I wanted to stop thinking about you! And even that didn’t work. I’m kind of pathetic, aren’t I? No matter how much I’ve tried to convince myself that I need to get over you, that you don’t want me anymore- I just can’t bring myself to do it. So, tell me Kurt, why are you here?”

“You’re still my friend, Blaine. I’m allowed to take care of my friend,” Kurt’s answer didn’t seem completely truthful, and Blaine noticed Kurt’s eyes starting to get wet.

“We were never really friends though, were we?” Blaine asked, making Kurt look up, surprised. “Even before we started dating...there was always something between us, even if I was a little late to realize it. We don’t know how to be friends. And if I’m going to be completely honest here, I don’t want to be friends with you. I don’t want to be just friends with the person I’m in love with.”

“You’re not in love with me,” Kurt said quietly. “You just think you are.”

“I _know_ I am,” Blaine argued. “If I had all my memories back right now, I still would be. Did my mom tell you why Dave and I broke up?”

Kurt stared at him for a moment. “She told me that you broke up because you told Dave that you still love me.”

“Is that not good enough for you? Is that not enough proof?” Blaine asked. He knew he was pushing Kurt, but he couldn’t take it anymore. He was going to explode if Kurt didn’t give him answers.

“I think I should leave,” Kurt stood up from his chair. Blaine noticed for the first time that Kurt was already back in his outfit from the night before and he must have found Blaine’s hamper because his pajamas were nowhere in sight.

Kurt started walking towards the door. Blaine sat there for a moment because he didn’t expect Kurt to leave, but then he quickly stood up and followed him. “Kurt, wait!” Kurt already had his hand on Blaine’s door but Blaine reached for his wrist.

Kurt spun around and all the sudden their was a fire in Kurt’s eyes that Blaine hadn’t seen in a very long time. Kurt stared into Blaine’s eyes for a moment, then his gaze flickered down to his lips. It lasted about two seconds before Kurt closed the distance between them, pulling Blaine towards him and attaching his lips to his.

Blaine gasped against Kurt, this was the last thing Blaine expected to happen today. Kurt was sucking on Blaine’s lower lip with such urgency that Blaine was sure his lip was going to swell, but he didn’t care. Kurt pushed his tongue past Blaine’s lips and started pushing Blaine towards his couch.

Blaine fell on top of the couch, bringing Kurt down with him and soon Kurt detached his lips from Blaine’s and started pressing his lips to Blaine’s neck, causing his whole body to shake.

He was on fire and all he wanted was Kurt. He fumbled with Kurt’s jacket unsuccessfully. That’s when Kurt took his lips off Blaine’s neck and got off of him completely, earning a whine from Blaine.

“This is a bad idea,” Kurt said, straightening out his jacket.

“It’s a pretty _good_ bad idea,” Blaine countered, a little breathless. He moved so he was sitting on the couch instead of lying on it.

“I see you’ve brushed up on your musicals,” Kurt pointed out.

“I did,” Blaine confirmed. He was really grateful that he was still wearing pajama pants right now as opposed to jeans, or else he would be in a really painful situation.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry,” Kurt said, and then turned to leave.

“ _Kurt_ ,” Blaine pleaded. “Don’t leave. You’re the one who wanted to talk. Let’s talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. That was a mistake. I’m really sorry, Blaine. I have to leave. My callbacks are tomorrow. I need to rehearse,” Kurt didn’t look at him again as he walked out Blaine’s front door.

Blaine’s skin was still tingling from Kurt’s touch, but all of the sudden, his headache was back again. He felt like he had just been slapped in the face. What even was that? Kurt was the one who kissed him, Kurt was the one who pushed him onto the couch. Now all the sudden it was a mistake?

Blaine wished he could make sense of this entire mess of a situation - but he can’t. He just wished his memories would come back, maybe then it would become a little clearer. Maybe Kurt would talk to him then, maybe he would open up a little. Maybe he would let him love him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this seems a little one step forward, two steps back, but we're getting somewhere. I promise lol.  
> I would just like to formally apologize for the kiss scene and any future kiss scenes to come- my strength is angst, not romance. That's why it's taking me so long to get there lmao, but thanks for everyone who is sticking around.  
> Also, winter break is in two weeks so hopefully you can expect a lot of updates from me! I plan to just sleep and write winter break because I need some rest. Our closing night for the senior play was Friday, and the week and a half before that was probably one of the most stressful week and a halves of my life. It was refreshing to be able to sit down and write this.  
> Like always, thank you for reading! I appreciate it!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Kurt was exhausted when he got back from his callbacks, he had been working his ass off rehearsing and now all he wanted to do was sleep. But of course, sleep did not come. As soon as his head hit his pillow, there was a loud banging on his front door. He let out a long, frustrated groan before getting up and walking towards it. Seriously, who knocks before calling anymore?

He opened the door and had deja vu as a small girl frantically pushed her way inside of his apartment. “You have got to stop doing that,” Kurt said as Cady stopped in the middle of the apartment. Kurt shut the door and turned towards her, taking a step back in surprise when he realized she was practically fuming from her ears. 

“And  _ you  _ have to stop treating Blaine like shit!” Cady spat at him. “He told me everything. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate you taking him home after he got drunk but you had no right to kiss him and then act all broody and refuse to talk about it. He loves you, Kurt. I mean that. So, do you even realize how much this hurts him?”

“I don’t need to hear this from you,” Kurt rolled his eyes at her and began walking past her. “I’m tired, you can show yourself out.”

He doesn’t know why he thought that would work because in a matter of seconds, Cady appeared in front of him again, arms crossed and eyes glaring. She had more of a bitch face than he did. “Blaine is too nice to let you know how fucked up this all is, but fortunately, I’m  _ not _ nice. So, let me lay this down straight for you, Kurt Hummel. He has  _ always  _ been in love with you but for some god forsaken reason, you refuse to acknowledge it. Stop messing around. You’re so back and forth with him and I’m sick of it, either be with him or get out of his life. He’s my best friend and he’s hurting, and I’m not going to deal with it anymore. I liked you at first, Kurt, but you don’t get to make out with him and then leave him to rot.” 

He felt like he was getting lectured by Santana and he was honestly in no mood, Santana never understood his reasons for doing things and Cady would never either. He didn’t need to explain his actions to her. He doesn’t like that he hurt Blaine, but Cady doesn’t control him. “I’ve told him how I felt. It’s not my problem he won’t give this up. Now  _ please,  _ I want to sleep.” Kurt knew he wouldn’t want to have this conversation tired or awake, but wanting to sleep was a pretty good excuse to get out of it. 

“Stop talking to him,” Cady demanded. “If that’s really how you see things, stop talking to him. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like this.”

“No,” Kurt said, trying to push his way past Cady but she wouldn’t budge.

“Why?” Cady asked, leaning against his bedroom door so he couldn’t get in. “Why won’t you?”

“Because…” Kurt wished he could find a good answer, but it wasn’t working. “Because you don’t get to tell me who I can and can’t talk to!”

“I thought I was the teenager,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re going to need a better reason than that.” 

“I don’t owe you an explanation,” Kurt decided that he couldn’t get into his own room, Rachel’s room was the next best bet. 

“Maybe not,” Cady said, her voice was icy cold and it stopped Kurt in his tracks, “but you sure as hell owe Blaine one.” 

Kurt turned back around to face Cady, all the sudden not feeling as tired anymore. “I don’t,” Kurt said, and walked back to his living room. “It’s not my fault any of this happened! I don’t owe anyone anything!”

Cady gave him a pointed look then shook her head. “I really do not see what Blaine saw in you, you’re a dick,” Cady said, moving towards the door. “Stop fucking around or I will find a way to make sure you’re cut off from Blaine.” 

“How do you plan to do that?” Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow. “You can’t stop me from visiting him.”

“What do you care?” she yelled, turning back around. “Why is that so important to you when it seems to be just hurting both of you?”

“Because I love him!” Kurt shouted, barely even registering his own words. It felt so good to say it outloud, and he breathed out a sigh of relief before sitting down on the couch. “I love him.”

“Well, you have an odd way of showing it,” Cady said, walking in front of his television so she was facing him directly. “You can’t keep doing this, Kurt. Just tell him how you  _ feel _ , why is communication so hard between you two? Wasn’t that the reason you two broke up in the first place?”

Kurt bit his lip, then glanced up at Cady and nodded. “I’m scared to let him in,” Kurt said honestly. “He’s back in my life...and I don’t want to lose him again and I feel like...if I let him in too much it’s just going to hurt more if he does leave.”

“You’re the one that always leaves him,” Cady pointed out. “From what I understand, every time something went wrong,  _ you  _ were the one that left.”

Kurt was quiet after that, not knowing what to say. Cady was right, this girl, who he barely knew, suddenly knew him inside and out. She knew just how to get under his skin, just how to crawl under his exterior. 

She sighed and walked over to where Kurt was sitting, sitting down next to him. “Look,” she said, “all I’m saying is that there is a major communication issue between the two of you. Blaine seems to be really trying, but the honesty from your side isn’t there. You have to tell him what you want. You can’t leave him feeling hopeless and confused. It’s not fair to either of you.” 

“You’re right,” Kurt agreed. “He deserves better than this. I shouldn’t be putting more confusing feelings on him when he’s going through such a hard time right now. I’m being selfish.”

“You are,” Cady nodded. “I think you should take that nap. Then, when you get up again, go find Blaine. Tell him everything that’s going on in your head. Can you do that?”

“I can,” Kurt confirmed. “Thank you...for coming over.”

“No problem,” she said, standing up from her spot on the couch. “And Kurt?”

He looked up. “Yeah?”

“If you don’t talk to Blaine within the next 24 hours, then I’m completely serious, stay away from him. Got it?” Cady was looking at him with poison in her eyes, and he knew she wasn’t messing around. 

“I got it,” Kurt stood up too.

“Good,” she said, then turned away and out of his door.    
  


* * *

 

Blaine was in the middle of watching  _ Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them _ when his phone started buzzing. He reached for his remote, then pressed the pause button. He then took his phone off the coffee table and looked at the caller id. It was Kurt. 

He wasn’t really in the mood to talk to him right now, but if Kurt was calling to apologize, he was willing to listen. “Hey,” he answered as he brought the phone to his ear. 

“Can I come over?” Kurt asked. He paused for a second before continuing, “I really need to talk to you. About what happened. Is that okay?”

“Um,” Blaine cleared his throat. “Yeah, yeah, that’s fine. You can come over.”

“Great,” Kurt seemed to let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, I’m not going to be bothering you, am I? Were you doing anything? Did you have plans?”

“No, you’re fine. I was just watching that new  _ Harry Potter  _ movie, that’s all,” Blaine assured him, “I can always return to it.”

“Okay,” Blaine could hear some muffled noise through the phone, like Kurt was searching for something. “Sorry, couldn’t find my keys. I’ll be there in about 15 minutes. See you soon.”

Kurt hung up before Blaine could respond, leaving Blaine to wonder what exactly was going to happen when Kurt showed up at his apartment. He knew it wasn’t going to do him any good to dwell on what might happen, so he figured he could watch 15 more minutes of his movie. 

Newt Scamander was in the middle of showing Jacob around his magical zoo inside of his suitcase when Blaine heard a knock on the door, bringing him out of his movie-watching trance. He turned off the movie all together this time, seeing how he couldn’t predict how long this conversation with Kurt could take and what could come of it.

Blaine could see this going one or two ways: he was going to be left miserable and heartbroken because Kurt didn’t want to see him anymore  _ or _ this could go very much in his favor and they could be back together again, leaving Blaine much more happier than he has been in awhile. 

He walked towards his door, took a deep breath, and opened it. Kurt was standing there, looking a little winded, wearing tight blue jeans and a dark peacoat. He seemed to be waiting for permission to come in. 

Blaine moved to the side for Kurt to come in. Kurt stepped inside of Blaine’s apartment and started unbuttoning his peacoat. 

“Do you want me to take that?” Blaine asked, nodding to Kurt’s coat.

“Thank you,” Kurt gave him a small smile, and handed him the coat. Blaine didn’t have a fancy coat hanger or anything, so he took it to the kitchen and hung it on the back of a chair which Kurt probably wasn’t too happy about but Blaine only had a closet in his bedroom. 

When Blaine returned to the living room, Kurt looked nervous and was awkwardly standing in the middle of the room. “You can sit down, you know,” Blaine said, motioning to his couch. 

Kurt just nodded and sat down on the couch, leaving space for Blaine to sit as well. Blaine took the spot next to Kurt, and moved his body so he was facing him. 

“So, what  _ exactly _ did you want to talk about?” Blaine asked, trying to get something out of Kurt. Considering Kurt was the one who wanted to come and talk in the first place, it was odd that he was being eerily quiet. 

“Us,” was all Kurt offered. 

“Okay…” Blaine cocked his head to the side, trying to show Kurt his confusion. He knew he wanted to talk to him about what happened, but he really wasn’t being specific. 

Kurt closed his eyes for a few seconds before releasing a breath. “I haven’t been...honest with you. I’ve been really unfair, and I wanted to apologize.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Blaine told him. “I get it. This is as hard on you as it is for me.”

“No, I do have to apologize,” Kurt insisted. “You didn’t ask to get in a car accident. You didn’t ask for any of this. I’m sorry for acting so condescending towards you. I’m sorry for sending you mixed signals. I’m sorry for confusing you and not providing you explanations. You don’t deserve any of that.”

“I…” Blaine didn’t really know what to say to any of that. He had gotten used to Kurt shutting down, never giving him any real answers. Never showing any regret for his actions. Now...now he’s sitting here and apologizing for all of that. “Thank you...for saying that. It means a lot to me.”

“Apologizing isn’t enough, Blaine,” Kurt’s eyes were welling up with tears, and Blaine wanted to do something but he knew he had to let Kurt say what he wanted. “I owe you an explanation for the way I’ve been acting.”

“I agree,” Blaine nodded, urging Kurt to go on. 

“I could have never predicted any of this to happen,” Kurt said, a tear spilling down his cheek. Blaine wanted to wipe it off, but he didn’t. “You...coming back into my life. I wasn’t ready for it. I had gotten used to the way things were, it hurt and I knew something was missing but it just was what it was, you know? I had always given myself one day. One day a year to grieve what I had lost. Rachel always thought it was silly of me, but I knew if I didn’t give myself that one day, I’d be miserable for the rest of the year too. It was always the anniversary of the day we called off the engagement. The 5 year anniversary was on October 7th.”

“That was the day I…”

“The day you got in your accident,” Kurt confirmed. “I was mostly alone all day. So, I was left to wallow in my thoughts and self-pity, and I opened my memory drawer and I found the engagement ring you got me. And I just...broke down. Rachel came home while I was crying, and she made me put it away and we went to go watch  _ Rent _ . While we were watching it, that’s when Rachel got the phone call that you were in the hospital. It was really bad timing.”

Blaine laughed a little, feeling tears start to surface in his eyes as well. After all these years, Kurt still was broken up about them not being together anymore. Even though Kurt’s pain saddened him, it made him feel a little better knowing that he wasn’t alone in wanting them to get back together again. 

“It was shocking to say the least, and then going to the hospital and seeing you for the first time in three years just made everything so much harder,” Kurt admitted. “Then, you said you  _ loved  _ me and I just couldn’t… I couldn’t hear those words and have it be from someone who doesn’t remember the last 7 years.”

“It doesn’t make them any less true,” Blaine’s voice cracked, he had just barely gotten the sentence out. 

“From you, maybe,” Kurt whispered. Blaine didn’t understand what that meant, he furrowed his brows in confusion. Kurt turned more towards him and grabbed his hand, placing it in both of his. Blaine couldn’t help but look down at them. “Blaine, I love you. Don’t...don’t doubt that, ever. Okay? I just can’t be with you while you still don’t have your memories. I know that you love me. But I don’t know if the you… the 25 year old you does. I can’t know that and neither can you. And I’m terrified that when you do get your memories back, you won’t mean it anymore.”

Blaine felt his blood go cold, he thought this conversation was going to go somewhere with Kurt. He thought Kurt was going to finally look past the fact that he doesn’t have his memories, and just like him  _ in.  _

He removed his hand from Kurt’s and ignored the pain that flashed behind Kurt’s eyes when he did. “I do know that, though, Kurt. And so do you. You’re just too afraid to admit it. I have people who know me, who have known me for the past 5 years that we weren’t together that have  _ told  _ me how much I loved you. Cady, my best friend, knows me better than I know myself and she seems to be more confident that 25 year old me is in love with you than anyone else. So, please, enlighten me, how can you be afraid when all evidence points to me still being in love with you?”

“Because I can’t believe it if it’s from secondary sources!” Kurt said, frustrated. He stood up from the couch. “I need to hear it from  _ you _ !”

“You have heard it from me!” Blaine argued. “How many times do I need to say ‘I love you’ to you before you believe it?”

“I won’t believe it until you get your memories back!” 

“Get out,” Blaine demanded. Kurt still had tears spilling down his cheeks, and part of Blaine wanted to console him, but the rest of him didn’t want to continue dealing with this. “Please, just leave.”

“ _ Blaine _ -” Kurt looked desperate, but Blaine was tired. 

“Please, go,” Blaine begged, no longer being able to look at Kurt anymore. He turned around and waited to hear the door closed. Once he heard the click that signified it shut, he broke down in tears too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I'd update over break, I'm sorry friends. If I'm going to be completely honest here, I found a new show which usually breaks my alliance to whatever show I was previously obsessed with. In this case, I got obsessed with Skam which caused me to lose interest in Glee. I'm not going to abandon this fic though, I love it and I'm not going to leave you guys hanging. My updates are probably just going to be slower than usual though. However, I am going to try to update as much as possible within the next few months because once April-Mayish comes I'm going to be very busy for like...the coming year. I'm graduating high school, I'm traveling a lot during the summer and then college starts in August. So, hopefully, I can finish this fic by May but we'll see.   
> Also...srry about the angst. It's what I do best.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have fun reading the longest chapter i've ever written my dudes

Blaine felt emotionally exhausted. It was late, he had spent the majority of the day crying over what happened with Kurt and just being  _ frustrated _ over the entire situation. He just wanted to get out and do something  _ fun _ for a few hours. He lived in Manhattan, for god’s sake, there was so much to do and he’s spent most of his time recovering cooped up in his own apartment. 

He decided to call Cady since she was really the only friend he knew of in New York, besides Rachel, but she was so busy with her own life and he didn’t want to bother her. He was sure Cady had a life too outside of Blaine, with school and work, but she wasn’t a Broadway star like Rachel Berry. 

“Hey, buddy,” she answered, her voice sounding a little concerned. “You okay? Did Kurt come and talk to you?” 

“How did  _ you  _ know that?” he asked, suspicion creeping into his tone.

“I kind of barged into his apartment and yelled at him,” she admitted. “I’m sorry, I was so mad after you told me what happened between you two. I told him that he had to talk to you.”

“It’s okay,” Blaine sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. It actually wasn’t okay, but he didn’t want to talk about it right now. The whole point of him calling her was so he could get off the topic of Kurt. “I don’t want to talk about him right now. It’s 7 at the moment, how fast can you get ready?”

“Are we going out?” Cady sounded interested now. 

“Yes, we’re going to try to get tickets for an 8 o’clock show despite that being in an hour. Think we can do it?” Blaine asked, he wanted to see a show and then go to a karaoke bar somewhere. He just wanted to immerse himself in what he loved right now, theatre and music. 

“I can try and get some online right now, so we can get them quicker. Stay on the phone,” she told him. He waited as Cady started searching for tickets. “All right, there’s 8 o’clock showings for  _ Waitress, A Bronx Tale  _ and  _ Dear Evan Hansen _ . There’s one for  _ Wicked _ too but they are way too expensive.”

“How much?” Blaine asked, he had always wanted to see  _ Wicked  _ live. 

“$300 a ticket,” she said, a little wistfully. She must have wanted to see it too. “The  _ Wicked _ tickets are always really expensive, though.”

“Damn,” Blaine clicked his tongue, he couldn’t help but be disappointed. “What about  _ Waitress _ ? I listened to a few of the songs already. It sounds really good.”

“Still expensive. About $115 a ticket. I say we go down to Times Square ASAP and go to TKTS so we can get a discount. It’ll probably bring it down to $90, which is better than $115,” Cady suggested. Blaine was already grabbing his wallet. 

“Sounds like a plan,” Blaine said. “Is your apartment or my apartment closer to Times Square?”

“Yours,” Cady answered. “You live in Midtown, if you haven’t noticed by now. I’ll be there in 10.” 

“Great!” Blaine exclaimed, already excited for their little adventure. He hung up his phone and went to his bedroom to look in the mirror and see if he could look a little nicer. He was in dark blue skinny jeans and a red polo, his hair was a little all over the place though. He went over to his dresser and found his hair gel on top. He opened it and squeezed some into his hand. He smoothed his hair back so his curls were tamed and it made him feel a little more like himself. 

He walked back out of his bedroom and grabbed his shoes, and slipped them onto his feet before walking to his closet and grabbing his coat, slipping it on and buttoning it up. He checked his phone, and Cady had texted him that she was already at the apartment and was on her way up. He didn’t even bother to wait for her, he already darted out of there. Once he reached the elevators, one opened, and Cady started walking out before she noticed Blaine.

“Someone’s a little eager,” she commented, stepping back into the elevator with Blaine following her. 

“I had to get out of that apartment,” he replied, shrugging like it was no big deal. He hit the button on the elevator that would bring him back down to the lobby. 

The elevator doors closed. “Are you okay?” she asked again, concern written all over her face. 

“I’m fine,” Blaine waved her off. “I just wanted to have some fun with my best friend.”

Cady eyed him suspiciously. “Okay…” Cady decided to not push the subject any further, and Blaine was grateful. “You know, we’ve already seen  _ Waitress _ together.”

Blaine glanced at her, the concern still hadn’t left her face. But he realized that it was a different kind of concern now. Blaine wish she’d understand, he wished they’d  _ all  _ understand, that he wants to be able to remember all of these things. He really does. He just can’t. “I didn’t know,” Blaine said, as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. He knew he’d seen it with Rachel, but not with Cady. “But what’s the harm in seeing a musical twice?” 

“There is none,” Cady gave the same shrug he gave her when he was trying to mask his own feelings. Cady walked out of the elevator and right out the door. She immediately walked right to the curb, and the minute she saw a taxi she started waving her hand in the air and snapping her fingers at it. The cab pulled up in front of them, motioning for them to get in. Cady opened the door and scooted to the other side, and Blaine sat down beside her. “47th and Broadway, please,” she told the driver. 

He nodded and started speeding down the road. Cady and Blaine didn’t talk the way there, but it only took about 5 minutes for the cab to pull up at 47th. Blaine really did live that close to Times Square and he didn’t even know. Cady attempted to pay the cab driver, but Blaine stopped her and took out his own wallet. She rolled her eyes and mumbled something under her breath like, “loses his goddamn memories and still refuses to let me pay for anything.” 

He tipped the cab driver generously, than him and Cady stepped out of the car. Blaine’s breath caught in his throat as he took in the city. He had been here before, but never at night. It was breathtaking. The way the bright city lights seemed to challenge the darkness of the night, the way the people never stopped moving despite it being so dark outside. It was beautiful. 

“I know, right?” Cady said after the driver pulled away and was standing next to him. “But we’ve got all night to admire the city, we only have half an hour till the show starts and there’s a line. We have to get them now or we’ll never make the show.”

“Okay,” Blaine said, a little hesitant. He could just stand there and watch the city all night and still be happy. Cady pulled his hand and directed him to the line, which wasn’t as long as he expected to be. He breathed out a little sigh of relief. They should be able to get the tickets in time, it was a weekday in the middle of October anyway. 

Thankfully, the line went quickly and there were people advertising other shows on the way to the ticket booths. He took a brochure from pretty much every person he could, politely smiling and occasionally engaging in conversation about a few of them. 

Cady seemed to be doing the same thing, but she seemed a little antsy too. “Are  _ you  _ okay?” he asked, sensing her nervousness. 

“Time is the one thing I can’t control, Blaine Anderson,” she said seriously. “I hate being in situations like this.” She pulled out her phone. It was 7:40. They had twenty minutes to make the show. “What if we go up there and the tickets are sold out? What if we do get the tickets and then they shut the door on us?”

Blaine couldn’t help but smile, he’d never seen Cady so anxious before. “We’ve seen it before anyway, right?” Cady nodded. “So, the first part won’t be so bad. Maybe they’ll have tickets for another show. Or we can just walk around Times Square, which would be equally as fun. The second part will be bad because we wasted money, but we can still have fun.” 

“You’re right, you’re right,” Cady breathed, seeming to calm down at Blaine’s words. It only took another two minutes before her and Blaine were at one of the booths and a lady was asking what show they would like to see. 

“Can we get two tickets for  _ Waitress _ ?” Blaine asked. “Cheapest you got.” 

The woman told us to hold on for a second as she looked something up on her computer. “You got it,” she answered. “Are you paying together or separate? It’s $95 a ticket.”

“Separate,” Cady answered for him before he could protest. Cady unzipped the wristlet she was wearing and took out a debit card, handing it to the woman. She swiped Cady’s card and handed it back to her. They waited as her ticket printed and once it was, she gave it to Cady. 

Blaine pulled out his wallet and gave the lady his own card, and the same process repeated. Once Blaine got his ticket, him and Cady maneuvered their way out of the crowd. “We did it!” Blaine exclaimed, waving his ticket at her. 

“Put that in your wallet before someone steals it!” she warned, laughing a little. She checked the time on her phone and her face dropped. “We got 15 minutes. I know where the theatre is, follow me!” 

Cady started speed walking down Broadway and turned on 47th, checking to make sure Blaine was still following behind her. He didn’t know why she was in such a hurry, it had only taken them a few minutes to arrive to the theatre and they were still checking tickets. They could have just walked. 

Cady checked her phone again. “12 minutes to spare!” she beamed at him and held her hand up, he obligingly gave her a high five. 

“You had no reason to worry,” he told her, putting a hand on her shoulder. She just gave him a small smile and walked up to the theatre doors, and handed the usher her ticket. The usher scanned her ticket and then Blaine handed over his. Once they were done the whole ordeal, Blaine excitedly looked around the hall and admired how cute it looked, with all the pies and sweets painted on the walls. 

They eventually reached the doors and walked in to find their seats, a young woman had her show them their tickets and she escorted them there. They had actually scored pretty good seats despite getting them so late. 

“I’m so excited!” Blaine said to Cady once they sat down. “The music I’ve heard from it is amazing! I can’t wait to see the entire story!” 

“You’ll love it,” Cady promised. She would know that, too. Considering he had already seen it, so of course she knows that he’d love it. He pushed the thought out of his head, and soon there was a jingle erupting through the theatre, telling everyone to shut off their phones. Cady and Blaine did so, and Blaine stuck his in his pocket and Cady put hers in her wristlet. 

Only a few minutes later, the lights dimmed and he started hearing, “ _ sugar, butter, flour, _ ” and the show had begun.

* * *

 

Blaine was in tears by the end of it. He didn’t know why he was so emotional lately when it came to watching people sing, but he couldn’t help it. The musical was wonderful and the main character had a phenomenal voice and he was in awe. He was also crying a little because they had renamed the pie shop after Jenna’s daughter which his heart melted at. 

Blaine and Cady gave it a standing ovation. After they had left the theatre, he pulled Cady aside to get out of everyone’s way. “Do you know any good karaoke bars?”

“Not any I can get into, I’m not 21 yet,” Cady said, which Blaine had honestly forgot about. 

“Don’t all college students have fake ids?” Blaine asked, raising an eyebrow at her. Cady didn’t seem like the person to go out drinking all the time, but it didn't mean she didn't at all.

“I have one, I just didn't bring it with me. I didn’t know we were gonna go to a bar,” Cady explained. “We can head back to my apartment if you want so I can grab it.”

“Sounds fine to me,” Blaine shrugged. “Are we going to walk or do you want to grab a cab?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to walk all the way to my apartment this late,” Cady pointed out. “Let’s just catch a cab, and we can go to one closer to my apartment.” 

That’s what they decided on, and this time the cab ride was a little longer and in turn, a little more expensive. Blaine insisted on paying again, knowing Cady was a college student and didn’t have the money. 

Cady lived in a tiny studio apartment in the Upper East Side, the space only about the size of his bedroom. “Did you ever think of living outside of Manhattan so you could have more space?” 

“I don’t particularly care how big my apartment is,” she replied, walking to her nightstand beside her bed. She opened it and started scanning for her id. “I wanted to be close to school and close to everything in general, and this was the cheapest I could find despite still having to take the subway to Lower Manhattan. It’s also only a few minutes away from work, so that’s a plus too.” She then shut her drawer and spun around, waving her id for him to see. “Let’s go.”

She stuck her fake id in her wristlet, and walked right out of her apartment, Blaine following her. “Do you know where to go?” Blaine asked her once they got outside. 

“Yeah, I’ve been there a few times,” she answered. She continued walking down the street, then made a right at the end of it. “With  _ you _ . We actually went there the first time I met Rachel.”

“Really?” Blaine asked, even though this didn’t surprise him. Of course Rachel would want to meet someone in a place where she could show off her voice. “Are you and her friends?” 

“Do I seem like the type of person who’d be friends with Rachel Berry?” she asked, grinning over at him. 

“Absolutely not,” Blaine said. From what he noticed, the only thing Cady and Rachel had in common is that they loved theatre. That’s it. 

“She’s just very...opposite of me. It’s hard for us to get along,” Cady explained. “I know you think she’s changed and all, but she’s just snotty to me. I hate it. I’m also a little jealous of her, but that’s besides the point.”

“Yeah, Rachel’s definitely an acquired taste,” Blaine said, chuckling a little. Cady wasn’t the only person who found it hard to get along with Rachel, but Blaine had always admired her. He’d pretty much been friends with her since they met, though it did help that she was Kurt’s best friend. “But she’s extremely talented and yeah, she can be snotty sometimes, but she’ll lose an arm and a leg for you if you’re her friend.”

“I know, you’ve tried to get me to like her many times. It’s never worked,” Cady started slowing down, and Blaine started to hear music. She pointed to a building at the end of the street where the music was playing out of. “It’s right there.”

Blaine followed her as she stopped in front of the bouncer. “ID, please,” the bouncer asked. Cady kept a straight face and unzipped her wristlet, pulling out her id and handing it to the bouncer. He glanced at it and then gave it back to her, nodding that she can go in. Blaine did the same thing, and once they were cleared to go, they headed into the bar. 

Blaine immediately started searching for where he could sign up to sing. Once he found the little machine, he typed in his and Cady’s names. He’d never heard her sing before, and he wanted to see how well he was doing with teaching her. “Hey,” he turned to her before selecting a song. “Any specific song you want to sing?”

She glanced over at the screen. “Well, if we’re doing a duet, and we seem to be reliving old moments tonight, I have the perfect song,” Cady smiled and took over. She scrolled through the categories, and then clicked on Disney. Blaine saw that there were a few new Disney movies that were on the list that he’s never seen before, that he would have to rewatch if he doesn’t get his memories back soon. Cady clicked on  _ Tangled _ , and Blaine had to bite his lip to contain his excitement. He loved that movie and the entire soundtrack. She clicked on “I See the Light” and then confirmed their slot. 

“Why is this the perfect song?” he asked, and they went to go find a table to sit down and watch the people already singing. 

“ _ Tangled  _ is pretty much what made us friends,” she told him. “I wore a shirt with a picture of the boat scene on it to work one day and you ran up to me practically squealing about how  _ Tangled  _ was your favorite Disney movie ever. Then, you invited me over for a Disney movie marathon and we’ve been inseparable since.”

“I do  _ really  _ love  _ Tangled _ . Flynn Rider is so-” Blaine stopped talking because all of the sudden a very familiar voice had taken stage and started singing, and Blaine looked up and there he was. Kurt Hummel. Somehow at the same goddamn karaoke bar as he was. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Shit.” Blaine looked away. “Why is he here?”

“Clearly you two think alike, or at least you and Rachel do,” Cady said, nudging Blaine and then discreetly pointing to the far end of the bar, where Rachel was sitting with her fiance, who were both smiling and cheering on Kurt. Cady looked like she wanted to kill them. 

“Why don’t we just go?” Blaine told her, putting his hand on her arm in effort to calm her down, though  _ he  _ was really the one that needed to be calmed down. “I can’t be here. Not with him.”

“No,” Cady decided. Suddenly, the look on her face changed from angry to like she was making a very elaborate evil plan. “You’re going to sing. You’re going to have fun. You are going to ignore him the entire night. Pretend like he’s not here, not matter how much it hurts. Even if he gets up on the stage to sing again, don’t look at him. Let him see what he’s missing. Tonight’s about you. Not him.”

“What if he tries to talk to me?” Blaine asked, a little wary of Cady’s plan. He appreciated her trying to make him feel better, but he doesn’t know if how he’s going to feel better if Kurt’s in the same room as him. 

“I’ll be beside you all night. If he tries to talk to you, he’ll just have to deal with me. Is that okay with you?” 

“I don’t know. You kind of look like you want to beat him up.”

“Dude, I’m 5 foot tall with zero muscle mass. I couldn’t beat him up even if I wanted to.” 

“Good point,” Blaine nodded. Soon, Kurt was off the stage and somebody was calling Blaine and Cady to go on. Blaine couldn’t help but look at Kurt, trying to see the reaction at the names that were called. Kurt had stopped halfway to Rachel and whipped back around, a shocked expression on his face. Blaine resisted the urge to go up to him, and walked right to the stage with Cady. 

The music from the song began playing and Cady started out the song. Blaine was pleasantly surprised to hear that she was actually pretty good, not nearly as good as most of his friends from high school, but she was definitely much better than Sugar Motta. But that wasn’t that hard. 

She stopped and it was time for Blaine’s solo. He took a deep breath and began singing into his microphone. He knew he was supposed to be ignoring Kurt, but his eyes betrayed him as they went searching for him. Kurt was sitting next to Rachel, who had her hand on his shoulder as they watched. Kurt’s eyes were glued to him.

He almost forgot the lyrics.

He tripped over the line “now she’s here, shining in the starlight” but quickly got back on track. Kurt’s not here, he reminded himself. He finished the rest of his solo out to the audience and then when it was time for him and Cady to sing together, he turned and started singing to her. She did the same.

The song came to an end and they put the microphones back on the stands and laughed and gave each other a hug. “You did  _ great _ ,” Blaine said once they were off the stage. “You definitely don’t suck like you said you did.”

“You would have disagreed two years ago,” Cady laughed. “I’m only better now thanks to you.” 

“I would have never said you sucked,” Blaine argued. Though he didn’t know because he did a lot of things he never thought he would do in these past seven years. 

“No, you wouldn’t have,” Cady agreed, maneuvering past the group of dancers. “However, I am an expert at detecting lies and I knew you were lying when you told me I was amazing. So, in exchange of you teaching me how to sing, I  _ tried  _ to teach you how to be more blunt. I honestly think you’ve had more success in the teaching me how to sing department than I have with the bluntness.” 

“I just don’t like hurting people’s feelings,” Blaine said as they took a seat. Blaine glanced up at the stage, two young girls, even younger looking than Cady took the stage. He wasn’t going to judge though considering he did just encourage Cady to come here when she was 19 and he still felt like he was doing something wrong being here too, despite being 25. 

“I know you don’t. But nobody likes a liar, Blaine,” Cady pointed at him. “And I can confidently say that you don’t lie anymore, at least not to me.” 

“You say that like I lied  _ all  _ the time before I met you.”

“I wouldn’t know. I guess I do know now though, considering you have your 18 year old brain. I’m technically older than you.” Cady looked particularly smug at this (not so correct) fact. He hoped she realized that 18 and 19 is not much of an age difference.

“That technically makes no sense,” he countered. “I may not remember the past 7 years, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am 6 years older than you.”

“5 and a half. I turn 20 next month.” 

“It’s so weird. If I had known you when I was actually 18, you would have been in like 7th grade.” 

“You and my sister are the same age, so it wouldn’t be  _ that  _ weird. But if you had known me when I was 13, you just wouldn’t have associated with me. I was terrible.”

“Why do you say that?”

“One Direction, Blaine. One freaking Direction.”

Blaine remembered her telling him about her old One Direction obsession, and suddenly he got an idea. “We should totally just sing One Direction songs for the rest of the night.”

“Absolutely not,” Cady looked horrified. “Everyone will hate us.”

“C’mon,” he nudged her shoulder. “It’ll be fun. You can reminisce.”

“I truly don’t like remembering those days,” she rolled her eyes at him. “But fine. It’s your night. If this is what you want to do, I  _ guess _ I’ll comply.”

“Yes!” Blaine said, clapping his hands together. He only knew a few One Direction songs by heart, but he was totally going to have Cady do one by herself. He grabbed Cady’s hand and pulled her over to the song selection machine.  

“Oh my god,” realization seemed to dawn on Cady’s face. Blaine didn’t know what about though. “You only know their first album. You’re going to make me sing ‘What Makes You Beautiful’, aren’t you?” 

Blaine put his hands up defensively. “You can choose any song you want.” 

“Ugh,” Cady glared at him, but looked through the songs anyway. “Hey, we could do ‘Tell Me A Lie.’ It goes well with our recent discussion. You know it?”

“I do,” Blaine confirmed. He’d heard it once or twice. (He may have listened to their entire album when it came out). He’d have to go over the lyrics on his phone first, but he was a quick memorizer. 

“Great,” Cady selected the song and put in their names. 

“How do you even remember the song if it’s been so long?” he teased as they made their way back to their seats.

“Are you kidding me?” she looked at him incredulously. “I listened to that goddamn album so much that it will forever be ingrained in my brain. I will be on my deathbed and still remember the lyrics to every single song on that album.” 

“Excuse me,” they were interrupted before taking they could sit down. Blaine looked away from Cady and found Rachel Berry standing right in front of him. He’d expected Kurt to show up and try to talk to him, but not Rachel. 

“Uh...hi, Rachel,” Blaine said, glancing nervously at Cady. She stepped forward so she was next to him and so Rachel had to address the both of them. 

“Hi, Blaine,” she gave him a warm smile, then looked at Cady and nodded at her. “Cadence.” 

“Cady,” she corrected her. 

“I don’t know why you call yourself that when Cadence is such a beautiful name,” Rachel sighed, then looked back to Blaine. “Blaine, you know I love you, but I took Kurt here because he was upset about you. So, could you maybe, um, find somewhere else to go?”

“ _ He  _ was upset about  _ me _ ?”

“No, we’re not going to-”

Cady and Blaine answered Rachel at the same time, then both stopped. Both of them were furious. Cady gave Blaine a look, letting him know that she wanted to talk. He let her. 

“Blaine had the same idea as you. He wanted to come here because he wanted to  _ stop  _ being upset about Kurt. We’re having fun, and we aren’t going to stop doing that just because you are here. If Kurt can’t handle that, that’s on him,” Cady had her arms crossed and was glaring at Rachel. “ _ You _ can leave. We’re staying.” 

“Fine,” Rachel held her head high. “We’re staying too. Just know that you aren’t even going to want to get on that stage, because Kurt and I are going to blow the roof off this place.” Rachel turned on her heel, and stalked away. 

“Okay, maybe she hasn’t changed that much,” Blaine noted. “She still likes to solve battles with singing duels.”

“I swear whenever I’m in the same room with her I feel like I’m in a scene from  _ High School Musical _ ,” Cady rolled her eyes for what seemed like the fifth time that night, and sat down. “She’s literally Sharpay Evans.” 

“It’s a Glee thing,” Blaine said in attempt to defend his friend. “We like to sing through every situation we get into.” 

“I went to an  _ arts _ school, Blaine,” she did not look amused. “There were like, eighty singers at my school. Nobody felt the need to sing as much as you guys do. It’s more like it’s a Mckinley High School thing.” 

“You’re telling me  _ nobody  _ at your school ever broke out in song? I don’t believe it.”

“Oh, they did,” Cady assured him. “Just not full on performances like you guys tend to do. A few times a year they would run through the halls and sing or perform on the staircase. They also went door to door during Christmas and caroled. But that’s it.”

“I guess you do have a point,” Blaine shrugged. “We can be a little dramatic sometimes.”

“That’s one way to put it.” 

Cady and Blaine started to just watch the people who were performing, Blaine didn’t recognize most of the songs though, which made him a little upset. They were all songs that were released post-2012, and he couldn’t help but feel really out of the loop. Soon, he heard Kurt and Rachel’s names be called to the stage.

“You don’t have to watch this,” Cady said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I know,” Blaine looked at Cady and then back at the stage, Rachel and Kurt had took their places. “But if he’s got to watch me perform, I might as well watch him too. It’s only fair.”

Cady nodded and then focused her attention back to the stage. Blaine instantly recognized the song as soon as Rachel began singing. They were singing “For Good” from  _ Wicked _ , and Blaine breathed a sigh of relief after realizing that they weren’t singing a love song or break up song. Blaine probably would have started crying again. 

Blaine was beginning to suspect that Rachel gave Kurt the same talk that Cady gave him, because Kurt was completely ignoring him and just singing with Rachel.

It only made Blaine a little jealous.

Kurt’s voice sounded amazing and it wasn’t doing anything to help him feel better, it just made him wish he didn’t come here. 

After they were done, everyone had given them a standing ovation except for Blaine and Cady. Blaine turned and put his elbow on the table, chin in hand. “Why are they so talented?” 

“Hey,  _ you’re _ talented,” Cady put an arm around his shoulder. “And this may be a little biased, but I think you are 10x more talented than them.” 

“You are being biased,” Blaine laughed, then moved his hand so he could face Cady. “But thank you, I appreciate that.” 

They sat through two more people singing, and then they got called up on stage again. Blaine took the first verse, despite it being sung by two different people. He looked at Kurt on purpose this time because the lyrics felt very true to how he was feeling about him at the moment. 

Once they got to the chorus, both Cady and Blaine took their microphones off the stand and turned to each other, jumping up and down on the stage as they sang. Cady took the second verse, and Blaine caught a glance at Kurt who looked visibly uncomfortable. But when the chorus came around again, his attention focused back on the song and him and Cady performed it at full energy, finishing it off in complete laughter. 

After that performance, he decided it was best to ignore Kurt as much as he could (he couldn’t do that when Kurt was on stage, but he tried his best) because he really was having fun with Cady. They got along really well and performed great together which he was really happy about. 

It was midnight by the time Blaine decided he wanted to go home. Him and Cady sang a few One Direction songs like they said they were going to do, but also wound up doing a couple of Disney songs and songs from musicals. Kurt, Rachel and even Jesse sang a variety of songs, but mostly musicals. He was impressed that Jesse had actually toned down his theatricality since high school. 

They were halfway back to Cady’s apartment when he heard someone shouting his name. They both swung around and Kurt was running towards them, stopping in his tracks once they had turned around and he reached them. 

“Kurt,  _ please _ not now,” Cady warned him. Blaine knew Cady had good intentions, but he was getting a little irked at her speaking for him. 

“What do you want, Kurt?” Blaine asked, shooting Cady a look that he hoped she would understand that meant that he had this.

Kurt looked at Cady like he was deciding if he was okay saying with whatever he was going to say in front of her, then looked back to Blaine.

“Can we talk?  _ Alone _ ?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought Blaine deserved a little fun considering he's been relatively miserable lately. The next chapter probably isn't going to be as fun, unfortunately. But thanks to all of you that continue to stick around and read this, despite how messy it's been getting. I'm hoping that it'll only be a few more chapters but we'll see. Btw I'm officially moving to Manhattan!! I committed to my #1 college a few weeks ago and I'm v excited. I wish I had known I was definitely moving to NYC when I started this fic because I would have waited until then so I could have written the outside world a little more realistically but I did my best lmao. But I probably would have forgotten if I waited that long. Anyway, I'll see you guys at the next chapter!!


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end, my friends. I decided to end this story since I wasn't really in it anymore and I didn't want to leave you guys with a question mark, not knowing how any of this was going to go. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and thank you to everyone who stuck around and read this!

Despite Cady’s protests and her deadly glares at Kurt, Blaine had agreed to talk to Kurt alone. Blaine and Kurt had walked Cady back to her apartment where she hugged Blaine goodbye and told him to text her that he got home safe. He had smiled warmly at her and told her that he would, and then he joined Kurt again before the two of them walked to Blaine’s own apartment. 

“So,” Blaine said once they had entered his apartment after a long, quiet journey there. “What exactly did you want to talk about?”

“I’ve been an idiot. Like a total, complete idiot,” Kurt confessed, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room after Blaine had sat down on his couch. 

“Not going to argue with that,” Blaine’s mouth twitched a little because he kind of wanted to smile, but he thinned out his lips. 

“I did some thinking. And you’re right, it shouldn’t matter whether you have your memories or not. Feelings and memories aren’t necessarily hand in hand. If you love me, than I should believe you love me. No matter if it’s the 25 year old you or the 18 year old you,” Kurt admitted. Blaine felt his heart swell up despite his best efforts to push these feelings down in fear or getting hurt. “I don’t know why it’s taking me so long to accept that. Maybe it’s because I’m afraid we’ll fuck up again and I’m so terrified of being hurt. But I’m here now, and I’m done being afraid. I love you and I don’t want to hide that from you anymore.” 

Blaine’s breath caught in his throat. He didn’t know what to say. Everything Kurt was saying was entirely overwhelming and all he could do was stare at him with his mouth agape. 

“Say something, please.” 

“No,” Blaine shook his head. He stood up from his spot on the couch and slowly walked over to Kurt. He gently placed his hands on Kurt’s face and Kurt looked up at him expectantly waiting for something, anything to happen. Blaine bit his lip before glancing down and pulling Kurt’s face to his. They had kissed before since he woke up, but last time there was so much anger towards it, it was hardly enjoyable. This time it was right. This time it felt like coming home. 

_ Home. _

Blaine gripped Kurt’s shoulder and pulled away, gasping. Suddenly, a flood of memories came back to him and his knees buckled to the ground but Kurt caught him before he could fall. He walked him over to the couch so he could sit. 

“Blaine?” Kurt asked, voice filled with concerned. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” 

He remembered everything. The cheating, the engagement, the breaking up. The misery afterwards. His first date with Dave. The three, excruciating long years with him. Meeting Cady for the first time, the girl with a bright smile and a bad attitude. Drinking away his sorrows every year on the anniversary of the day they broke off the engagement.

The anniversary. Now he remembers.

“I had forgotten what day it was,” Blaine said aloud. 

Kurt’s eyes narrowed at him. “What?”

“Sam, Tina and Mercedes over. We were hanging out as we always do whenever they were in town. Everything was fine. Everything was normal,” Blaine began. “Then I got a message from Rachel. Something like, ‘hey! Don’t forget that you’re invited to my opening night.’ It wasn’t her fault, but it made me remember that you would be there. Then, I noticed the date on my phone and everything spiraled out of control. I told everyone that I had to leave and Sam tried to stop me. He didn’t understand why I would just leave them in my apartment by themselves. I somehow managed to find a bar and I must have drank so much that I didn’t even think about what would happen if I got in my car. I don’t remember much after that. I know I was lucky though, to survive that.”

“You mean,” Kurt’s adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed hard. “You remember the last seven years?” 

“I do,” Blaine confirmed. “It just...hit me. All of it. I mean, I had been getting increments here and there but I remember everything.” Kurt just looked at him, with a terrified look in his eyes. Blaine knew why he looked so scared, so he grabbed his hand and gently squeezed it. “I never stopped loved you either, you know.”

Kurt blinked a tear from his eye and Blaine reached up to wipe it off. “I always kind of thought you hated me.”

“I could  _ never _ hate you,” Blaine assured him. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. These past couple of years have been _ torture _ without you.”

“Why didn’t you ever reach out to me when you broke up with Dave?” Kurt asked, growing a little cold at the mention of Blaine’s ex-boyfriend.

“Why didn’t you?” Blaine countered.

“Touche,” Kurt laughed. “I guess we’re just a couple of idiots.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Blaine smiled. “I’m going to have to call Cady, I feel awful that I’ve been out of work which means that everything was probably piled on her shoulders.”

“Ugh,” Kurt scrunched up his nose. “I don’t like that girl.”

“You only don’t like her because she’s more sassy than you,” Blaine argued, a smile still tugging at his face. “And you didn’t think that was possible. Give her time, she’ll grow on you. You know, after she gets over not liking you as well.” 

“I guess I will consider giving her a chance,” he replied, though there was no malice in his tone and he was smiling ear to ear.

“So, where does this leave us?” Blaine asked, not trying to sound too eager. “Are we boyfriends again?”

“Is that what you want?”

“Absolutely,” Blaine said it without hesitation. He’s wanted to be Kurt’s boyfriend again for a very long time. 

“Then, yes, we can be boyfriends again,” Kurt said before leaning in to kiss Blaine once again and seal the deal. Blaine felt like he was on top of the world for the first time in years. 

“Do you think it’s too soon to go and look for an engagement ring after you leave?” Blaine said jokingly, nudging Kurt.

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves here.” 

Despite the jokes, they both knew that was where they were headed. Someday, maybe soon, maybe years from now, Blaine and Kurt will be sitting on a bench in Central Park, with rings adorning their fingers that shown brightly as they held hands. Maybe they would have a kid of two playing in the grass, maybe they wouldn’t. All Blaine knew was that whatever happened in his life next would be worth it, as long as he had the love of his life by his side. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally intended to write more when I began writing this fanfiction, but life unfortunately got in the way. Since my last update, so many things have happened and I didn't have the time or energy to really continue with this fic. Recently, I decided I really wanted to give you guys an ending because it wouldn't be fair of me to write 13 chapters and leave you with nothing. So, here it is, the final chapter. 
> 
> I would just like to thank everyone who read this story, gave me kudos, and left comments on every chapter. It kept me going and I was always delighted whenever I got that email saying someone left a comment on my story. 
> 
> I love you guys, and please feel free to stay in touch with me! You can always leave me an ask on my tumblr or just message me there @ queencas.tumblr.com
> 
> Once again, thank you.


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